Maddy Mormon: Me...So Far

"What are you sinking about?"

2011-09-20T22:11:00.000-07:00

This is another one of those very quotable bits. It is especially hilarious to me because I speak German.

Enjoy!

I Remember

2011-09-11T11:11:00.000-07:00

"Where were you when the Towers fell?"

That is a question people of this generation ask, just like people of my mother's generation ask "Where were you when JFK was shot?"

I'll tell you where I was when the Towers fell. I was sitting in the John A. Widstoe building on the BYU campus, waiting for my Honors New Testament class to start. Melanie, my roommate, and I had dropped her car off on Condo Row with her sisters and walked up to campus early that morning; when I got to my classroom, I had about 45 minutes until my class started so I was studying my scriptures and preparing for my day.

As I sat alone in the classroom on what seemed to be "just another day," I heard a low rumble of noise in the hallway, which I attributed to normal hallway conversation. But the low rumble grew into a clamorous distraction. Before I could stand up and walk out to the hallway to find out what was going on, a fellow student--a stranger--poked his head into the room and queried me, "Have you heard?"

"Heard what?" I responded, thinking through a short list of plausible "what" scenarios.

"The plane crash in NYC? The terrorists?" he probed.

All I could do was stare at him with terror etched in every feature. Terrorists? Plane crash? NYC? Had I fallen asleep? Was I having another one of those life-like dreams--and was I going to wake up, laugh at how real this felt, and go on my merry way of "normal life"?

Unfortunately, it was no dream. That day, September 11th, the world changed for all of us--a waking nightmare that none of us has been able to awake from.

On this day when we honor the 10th anniversary of September 11th, I remember.

I remember and honor the sacrifices made, the service given, the humanity shown, the unity displayed, and the lives lost.

I also remember today that the nightmare continues and that today as our nation remembers these events, the fight goes on: we still have men and women overseas fighting a war that commenced almost 10 years ago--men and women who have mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, daughters, sons, neighbors, friends, and colleagues who pray for their safe return.

I remember and pay tribute to those we've lost, to those who continue to serve, and to those who prayerfully wait. And I pray for all of them. If ever we needed to heed our nation's motto of "in God we trust," it is now. Let us remember to trust in God as this battle against terrorism continues.

Kid History Episodes #5-6

2011-09-02T16:28:00.000-07:00

Some of my favorite bits:

"No, yike this!...Watch my bum move!...Nooo! You need to yisten!"
"Let's go do something flippin' awesome!"
"There will be NO funny business!"
"He has crazy eyes."
"Yeowo grapes..."
"When I get bigger I can know how to make chicken...chicken nuggets."
"Ninja vanish!"
"Yook! I'm go-ing potty!"
"I'm in a yot of twubble."
"You put a hand on yo bum and then do dis!"

Some of my favorite bits:

"My little toesies are ticklin' ya!"
"She doesn't give me peas all day yet. Because I don't like them yet. That's why she doesn't give me them all day yet."
"You can only eat one 'cuz it's too tingly."
"Guess what 'you have a sweet tooth means'? It doesn't mean that you like candy, it means that you want some!"
"I feel like I don't want this candy anymore 'cuz I can't bite it...Not really, I can still bite it."
"Guess what? I'm going to sing a few words of the song and I want you guys to guess what it is. 'Twinkle, twinkle, little star. How I wonder...' Can you guess what it is? It's not the 'Happy Birthday' song! I'll give you a hint: it starts with the letter 'P.' Guess! Guess! Yeah, there's only 1 minute left in my brain. Time is running out! So you better guess.... Yes! It's 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star'!"
"I know it's green, but what else is about it?"
"What in the freak just happened?!"

Kid History Episodes #3-4

2011-09-02T16:05:00.001-07:00

Some of my favorite bits:

"You. Car. Give me some monies."
"Jackelehm dito papa"
"Ok. Your name's Doodle."

Some of my favorite bits:

"Girls are mermaids. Some boys are mermaids, too."
"Facccct!"
"Oceanology"
"Silly Brett. You silly Brett. Your name is Silly Brett."

Kid History Episodes #1-2

2011-09-02T16:05:00.000-07:00

Some of my favorite bits:

"Don't punch...our car."
"...pushed him in the ground and made him have a headlock."
"If you do any more of this, you're going to have to sit in the toilet for 2 days."

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Some of my favorite bits:

"Kyle, I AM having a good time."
"And they liked to drink out of the gutter."

"It Makes You [Laugh] and Try to Get It Out"

2011-09-02T15:41:00.000-07:00

In the Utah vernacular, "Oh My Heck! This is flippin' awesome!"

Someone uploaded my favorite LDS video, "Mouths of Babes," to YouTube. Watch and enjoy!

I quote this all. of. the. time! Some of the best bits:

"I seen His house before, but I don't remember. It's not far, not very far away."
"And the water is like milk, and the bread is like...just bread."
"...Not that the church is dirty or anything, it's just..."
Where does God live? "California."
"Just RANNIN' around!"
What does that got to do with the devil? "I...don't know."
"It just makes me hung-ry!"
Is candy against the Word of Wisdom? "Yes, it's bad for boys 'cept it's good for girls."
What does smokin' do? "It makes you cough and try to get it out."

The Context Is Everything

2011-09-01T23:13:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder what he's thinking or what she's thinking? Well, in this hilarious skit from BYU's Divine Comedy, you can find out.

Note: This makes fun of a lot of Mormon cultural references and stereotypes, which is why it is hilarious...but for those who aren't as familiar with the culture, it might not be as funny. You stand warned. (grin)

Kids Say (and Remember) the Funniest Things...

2011-08-31T16:42:00.000-07:00

Today has been a monumental day. First of all, I passed out at work. (Awe.Some.) Never done that before!

Even more awesome than that: Jillian introduced me to a series of YouTube videos called "Kid History." I watched the first episode with tears streaming down my face because I was laughing so hard!

The premise of "Kid History" is to have the children recall a family story that the adults will act out--and the adults act out or mouth everything that the kids say! Huh-larious!

Check out these episodes on YouTube now! (The first one is here.) I need to catch my breath and watch the other episodes.

100 Things about Me, Continued -- #76-100

2011-08-30T20:42:00.000-07:00

76. If money were not an issue for survival (as in, I didn't have to work full-time in order to buy food and have shelter), I would love to stay at home (take care of the house, cook, be a mom) and write. And do something everyday to serve someone outside of my family.

77. If I don't recognize a phone number, I usually don't answer it. I assume that if they want to talk to me, they'll leave a message. Only problem is that my BlackBerry (for some reason beyond all logic and anything that I or the Verizon support staff can determine) often pretends that there's no more room in my voice mail box when there really is. So people have started texting me or calling my office to leave a message on my office phone since my BB is so temperamental. Ugh.

78. Evidence of how much I was in to the New Kids on the Block (besides the plethora of paraphernalia I owned and wore): I bought the cassette tapes or singles of every artist the New Kids worked with or promoted. For example...

Rick Wes (I think he was supposed to be some modern-day Elvis?)
Perfect Gentlemen (NK's producer Maurice Starr's son was in this group; single "Oh, La, La" was popular)
Ana (sang a duet, "Angel of Love," with Jordan Knight)
Seiko Matsuda (sang a duet, "The Right Combination," with Donnie Wahlberg)
Biscuit (Nk's bodyguard had 1 single, "Biscuit's in the House" [yeah, buddy!] and I choreographed a drill team number to this)
Tiffany (did a comeback CD in the early 90s called "New Inside." Donnie, as Dennis Cheese, produced that song)
Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch...
und so weiter, und so fort

79. My TV is usually set to the Food Network. Or USA network so I can watch reruns of NCIS to my heart's content.

80. My favorite kitchen utensil is my Pampered Chef spatula.

81. If the world ran according to my clock, stores would stay open until at least 11pm, and I wouldn't have to be to work until at least 10am.

82. I am usually late to appointments (even though I try very hard not to be). Just plan on that.

83. My favorite LDS apostle to listen to was/is Elder Neal A. Maxwell. I loved how lyrical his messages were--so beautiful and captivating. And he packed so much into each packet of words: like a matryoshka doll, you could keep opening them up and find more and more inside.

84. I read the Book of Mormon at least once a year--and each time I start with a fresh copy of the book, I look for a different theme as I'm reading. This year the theme is finding power in my relationship with Jesus Christ.

85. My favorite hymn in the current LDS hymnal is "Lead, Kindly Light" (#97).

86. On a typical day at work, I have an average of 4-5 hours of meetings. Out of my 8+ hour work day. (You do the math on how productive that would allow me to be outside of the meetings.) Hence, I usually am working through meetings when I don't have to pay attention to the discussion.

87. I think it would be adorable if my future husband proposed to me by asking "Will you occupy line 2 on my family group sheet?" I saw that in a cartoon once, and it made me laugh until I almost cried. What a nerdy proposal. Seems like it would fit me! LOL

88. If I were a crayon color, I would be macaroni and cheese.

89. When I was 6 years old, I thought that Skeletor lived in my bedroom and came out at night. I refused to sleep there by myself--not if He-man wasn't going to be there to protect me!

90. I'm a total "poser": If I know the camera is going to be clicking, I will make a crazy pose. Like this (photo to the right). I'm doing...what exactly? Who knows! It's like a "ta da! I have tape! Aren't I cool?!" kind of pose.

91. Someday when I'm an old lady, I want to rock a lilac-colored bob. That'd be awesome!

92. The best Halloween costume I ever wore was of a granny genealogist, complete with curly grey wig, glasses on a chain, polyester pants, a fanny pack, and a t-shirt that said "I've lost my Census."

93. Typically, I get 4-5 hours of sleep per night. I could probably use about 2-3 hours/night more.

94. I take pictures of each hotel room I stay in. And of the food I eat (per Em's instructions). This helps my travels not blur into each other (as much...).

95. My food rule when traveling: If at all possible, do not eat at any establishment you can do so at home. I love to try local dishes and local restaurants.

96. My favorite Food Network show is Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives.

97. I talked to Brad Pitt's grandma on the phone as per one of my work assignments. That's my claim to fame, haha!

98. According to the Clifton Strengths Finder 2.0 test, the following are my top 5 strengths:

99. I like odd numbers of things, usually ending with a "7."

100. I loooooove trains and subways!

The ICE train from Vienna to Regensburg, Germany

The Secret to Obtaining ALL of Your Desires

2011-08-30T06:57:00.001-07:00

I'm a go-getter kind of girl: usually, if I want something, I apply all of my faculties, keen intellect, and talents to the situation and work to obtain my desire. Many of the good things in my life have come about because of this hard work. (Faith without works is dead, right?)

And as I've gained a greater witness of and a more intimate relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, I've included Them in the planning and execution phases of this process, which has yielded an even greater success rate. (Hooray!)

Notwithstanding the success I've had in my life, I've been feeling for a while that I could be more efficient in seeking and obtaining my desires (ooh, there's that efficiency again!)--that I could obtain my highest desires if I could figure out the optimal way to pursue these desires.

I started at the very beginning (it's a very good place to start), and evaluated my desires. I was especially concerned if they were "righteous desires"--i.e., those that the Lord would approve of--since I was attempting to work in concert with the Lord. After many days of evaluation and prayer, I felt confident that my desires were indeed the Lord's will for me.

Next up: my inputs. Was I putting forth the required faith and effort, commensurate with the value of my desire? Again, days of pondering, introspection, prayer, and evaluation resulted in confidence that I was doing my part.

I continued the evaluation process (this has been going on for over a month now) for each aspect of this process, and each time I found the same results: confidence that I was doing my best.

Yet...I was also aware that though I knew I was doing my best, there was something still amiss. But what was it?

That "what"--the secret I mentioned earlier--came to me this morning as I was listening (for the 1,000th or so time) to Elder Gene R. Cook's talk, "Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ." For years I've used this talk as a primer for increasing my understanding of faith in Jesus Christ and for how faith is a principle of power. I've studied this talk so often that I could almost quote it in its entirety.

This morning, though, within his introductory words (which I sometimes skim so I can more quickly dig into the "meat" of his teachings) I heard the answer I'd been seeking:

How does a person make things happen? How can someone be effective as a young man or woman, as a father, a mother, as leader in the Church, in schoolwork, in life? I submit that it is by doing things "the Lord's way."

-- Elder Gene R. Cook, "Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ," Church Educational System (CES) fireside, 8 November 1981, emphasis added

There's the secret: doing things in the Lord's way!

It's not enough to counsel with the Lord and then go and do: we need to counsel with the Lord and then go and do things His way. Though difficult to admit, I realized that I hadn't been doing everything in His way...which is why I've been stymied in obtaining my righteous desire.

Doing things His way requires great humility, patience, hope, and faith: to acknowledge that our "natural man" way is not necessarily the optimal way...and to want to do things however He sees is best--to yield to the "enticings of the Holy Spirit" and be willing to submit to the Father, to His way.

For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.
-- Mosiah 3:19 (emphasis added)

Doing things the Lord's way is certainly not always the easy way, nor is it the way that always brings instant gratification or instant verification that what you're doing will lead to your desire. In fact, sometimes I think the Lord's way is intentionally more difficult-looking initially to weed out all of those who don't want their desire badly enough. (Btw, I've learned that if you're not willing to pay the price for your desire in whatever currency is required, then you better pick another desire because you don't really want what you're seeking!)

And yet, the success rate for doing things the Lord's way is 100%--the best ROI there is! "For with God nothing shall be impossible" (Luke 1:37). I like those odds a lot better than the paltry single digit rate I touted was tantamount to "successful"!

If we seek the Lord's will, counsel with Him, and then go forth doing things in His way, we will obtain all of our desires--plus so much more that we never would've expected in our myopic understanding of what we could achieve.

100 Things about Me, Continued -- #51-75

2011-08-29T19:43:00.000-07:00

51.The only thing stopping me from getting my MBA at Harvard Business School (besides little things like, you know, writing amazing essays, getting accepted, finding $200k for tuition and living expenses, and moving to Boston) is algebra: when I took the GMAT a few years ago, I rocked the verbal section but not the math section. And conversely, when I took the GRE, I rocked the math section but not the verbal section. If there was a way that I could combine my scores from both tests into one uber score, then I wouldn't need to retake the GMAT and would submit my application...and then I'd try to figure out how to pay for everything!

52. Although I played school and dress-up like other kids did, my favorite game to play was Office. I loved to pretend I was the CEO and have my secretary (usually my little sister) transfer calls to me or take dictated notes that she would then pretend to type up on our Commodore 64 computer.

53. I would like to own a business someday that provides employment to a large number of people. I love the idea of "teaching a man to fish" by enabling people to help themselves.

54. I am nerdy, in so many, many, many ways.

55. I love to cook and experiment in the kitchen--and mostly what I cook turns out pretty edible. Ok, it's actually more than pretty edible: it's delicious! One of the downsides to commuting and working/traveling so much and to living alone is that I don't cook as much as I used to--in fact, I rarely cook anything beyond the basics (read: reheating left-overs or convenience foods). I love having dinner parties or cooking for someone else because it gives me an excuse to crack open the dusty recipe books and try something new and exciting.

I'm also famous for a homemade Mexican seasoning mix I make. Though some people believe it is laced with crack (because it's so addictive), it is simply herbs and spices combined with a pinch of magic and a few unicorn tears. The sought-after recipe will never be shared: if you want some Mexican seasoning, I will make you some, but I will not share the recipe! I've thought about marketing the stuff...I just haven't had enough time to devote to the product's development.

I've also considered starting my own restaurant at various times of my life. The only thing stopping me from doing that? The fact that I don't want to be trapped in a kitchen (or anywhere) for 20 hours/day.

56. I don't like cake very much--especially don't like frosting. For my birthday, I prefer Kneader's pumpkin pie or guava cake from Bamboo Hut.

57. I respect and admire celebrities and would consider myself a big fan of many of them, but I don't usually get "star struck" most of the time. The only exceptions have been for LDS "celebrities" Bronco Mendenhall, Sheri Dew, and Kim B. Clark--and me being "star struck" had more to do with being too excited to speak because I was meeting these inspiring, amazing people, than the fact that they were famous.

58. On the Meyers-Briggs personality test, I am an ENFJ--basically, an extroverted feeling person with introverted intuition.

59. I love taking personality and other tests to learn more about myself.

60. I can eat Jell-o with chopsticks.

61. I am highly intuitive (see #58) and often feel drawn to certain things though I can't explain why. And I'm able to use this intuition to make decisions quickly. The downside comes when I try to force myself to figure out why ... thus poisoning my logical thinking with kryptonite and causing me to doubt myself. It's best if I just act on what I feel and not over think.

62. If I were to get an MBA from HBS (see #51), I would study Social Enterprise/Social Entrepreneurship. I love the idea of helping others throughout the world to become self-employed (see #53).

63. Something I've always wanted to do for my birthday: get dolled up (including getting my hair done), have dinner at a nice restaurant, and then attend a performance of The Nutcracker, my favorite ballet.

64. I am afraid of heights. And spiders.

65. When I'm sick, I am a "bad patient" (as Judy, my sister, or any number of people could attest). I don't like to slow down--and if I'm unable to sleep, then I get bored really easily...and end up watching marathons of America's Next Top Model or something like that. I'm too quick to say "I'm fine!" at the first sign of feeling better. When I had knee surgery, I went back to the office more quickly than I should have, which slowed the recovery process significantly.

66. I am a CrackBerry addict: Always, always, a-l-w-a-y-s have my BlackBerry with me and I constantly check for new texts, tweets, emails, etc. The only time I don't have it with me: when I'm in the temple.

67. I don't like talking on the phone and avoid it whenever possible. I prefer to speak to people face-to-face. Or text, email, or instant message.

68. I'm usually only quiet on a few occasions:

I'm pensive (have a lot I'm thinking about)
I'm hurt (need to sort out what I'm feeling and what to do about it)
During the final phase of exhaustion (after I've been through the silly and grouchy phases)

69. I can cry on cue but I have never used that gift inappropriately--mostly it's just a funny thing I can do. For example, family lore tells of how I was with my maternal grandmother in Walgreen's one Thanksgiving season and playfully asked her if she'd buy me a Barbie doll. When she said no, I pretended to burst into tears and made quite a scene...and then started laughing after a fellow shopper walked by and looked sternly at my grandmother. Oh, and btw: I was at least 20-years-old when this happened. LOL.

70. I love to buy local. LOVE IT! Any and every chance I get, I will purchase locally produced food and other products. Money is power, and I try to be very conscious about where I spend my money. If I have the option, I choose to spend my money at local, family-owned establishments even if I have to spend a little bit extra to do so. Encouraging local economy is important to me. I love the idea of spreading the wealth around, helping local family-owned establishments survive. And I also love the sense of connection I have to those local businesses.

Money, pardon the expression, is like manure. It's not worth a thing unless it's spread around encouraging young things to grow. -- Dolly Levi, Hello, Dolly (1969)

And "evangelizing" good products or services is also important to me. I am a loyal customer. If I like a product or service, I recommend it to all of my friends.

71. I was diagnosed recently as being Celiac (allergic to gluten). Thankfully, Treeshka, who is also Celiac, has been there to tutor me through all of this. But I still don't pay attention as much as I should. As Joy would say, I'm a "crappy" Celiac! Giving up breads and pasta hasn't necessarily been the issue for me, it's discovering that so many (too many) processed foods have some form of gluten in them...and I've been getting sick from eating those unawares.

My one weakness still--and one that I'd endure the stomach pain from eating the gluten in it: a good German soft pretzel. (starts to salivate) Yummmmmm!

72. I couldn't (wouldn't?) swallow pills until I was at least 16-years-old.

73. Being an influential leader is an important goal I have. I am drawn to reading books about leadership (one of my favorites is Leadership and Self-Deception) and to learning from the great leaders around us. Mother Teresa, Vince Lombardi, Coach Krzyzewski (aka Duke's Coach K), Greg Mortensen (author of Three Cups of Tea), Julie Beck (LDS General Relief Society President), Elaine S. Dalton (LDS General Young Women's President), and Martin Luther King are only a few of my numerous leadership heroes. I love to read stories about ordinary people who made an extraordinary impact on those around them.

74. If I have time to "read for fun," you'll usually find me with a business, leadership, or how-to book in my hands. Learning is fun to me!

75. I love to teach. My favorite callings in my church have been teaching callings (Sunday School, Relief Society, as a missionary).

100 Things about Me, Continued: # 26-50

2011-08-29T15:29:00.000-07:00

26. For a few years during grammar school, I attended a parochial school. I was the only Mormon kid in the whole school, which was kind of fun sometimes--especially when the other students participated in weekly confession and I got to sit on the back pew and read a book. When one of my friends asked me why I didn't have to go into the confessional, I smartly replied, "Because I have nothing to confess!" (Had I been Catholic, I would've needed to go directly to the confessional box for that lie!)

27. And speaking of lies...my Maddy nickname originates from a lie I told about what my full name was. To be fair, I was eight-years-old and living in a South Milwaukee neighborhood where I was the only white girl. All of my friends had exotic names like B'Shara, Tangelique, Shaniqua, or Fo'shoshana. I felt left out because my name seemed so plain compared to theirs--and I didn't have an apostrophe or even a silent Q or anything like that! So, I lied and said the first exotic name that came to mind when they asked what my full name was: "Madeline" I said, pronouncing the name with a very thick, French accent. They were impressed. A few days later, they determined that I needed a nickname: Maddy. It stuck. (So much for an exotic name, huh?)

28. And another bit of fiction I perpetuated: I've had 2 imaginary boyfriends in my life. The first, Lee-nard, was in college, an inside joke that morphed into this story my friends teased me about (something about how Lee-nard was a tennis player from Perth, Australia). My friends would leave "love notes from Lee-nard" on my dorm room door or send me virtual flowers from him.
The other imaginary boyfriend was Chad Keychain. Same story: a funny quip I made morphed into this huge inside joke. Only this time, Chad was a Polynesian man living in Cheyenne, Wyoming (where I was, at the time, serving part of my LDS mission), and his grandfather invented the keychain. You laugh, but there were a few people who believed it was true! For the most part, however, it became a mission-wide inside joke. Even my mission president and his wife would ask me about "Chad." LOL. Awe.Some!

29. As you can tell, inside jokes are an integral part of who I am. I love them--and I have a myriad of them. I love to repeat an inside joke and make someone laugh. One of the best talks I ever gave in church was peppered with inside jokes. I don't remember what the actual topic I was supposed to be speaking about was (LOL); what I do remember is that I brilliantly incorporated many inside jokes from the Rocky movies and made my friends in the congregation laugh. Again, not necessarily the greatest thing for me to do in church; it certainly wasn't a very reverent thing to do! But it was huh-larious when I weaved the little gem that Drago says in Rocky IV ("If he dies, he dies") into my lesson about life after death. I did it so seamlessly that if you didn't know the origin of "If he dies, he dies," you would've just thought I was very insightful. (BIG GRIN)

30. I love flying.

31. I love cemeteries--but only during the day. In the light of day, they are peaceful, reverent places...but at night...well, I've watched too many horror films to let my imagination go there!

32. Although I like to dress up and be a girl, I have strong tomboy tendencies. E.g. When I was in the first and second grades, I enjoyed playing barbies with my girl friends, but then when I'd hang out with my boy friends, Barbie would join the army (complete with drawn on tattoos!) to play GI Joe or be Princess Lea when we pretended to be in Star Wars.

33. I love the concept of Facebook but am not on it much. I rarely post, rarely check.

34. My hair stylist (my friend, the fabulous Tish) and I just recently discovered that I have naturally curly hair. Who knew?!

35. I used to choreograph dances to NKOTB, Debbie Gibson, Bon Jovi, Sweet Sensation, Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam, and other 80s artists in my backyard and put on performances for my neighbors.

36. My first dancing was standing in front of the television on Saturday nights, shaking my little diapered booty to the Lawerence Welk Show.

37. I want to be abundantly wealthy so I can share my abundance of wealth with "the forgotten." And with my temporal needs met, I will be free to spend my days serving others.

38. Thinking is my strength but it's also my kryptonite: sometimes, especially when I am anxious about making a decision or about a struggle in my life, I think myself into a frenzy...to the point that I can't sleep. And I can also talk myself out of making decisions that might require "too much" risk (according to my brain).

39. I love having someone else brush my hair. It's very relaxing.

40. If left unattended, I could do genealogy research for hours and hours, stopping only to use the wash room and occasionally remembering to eat something.

41. I have an aversion to public restrooms, especially if they look like this from Como, Italy:

42. I am a proponent for efficiency, which I blame or credit to my German heritage. If there is an efficient way to perform a task, I will find it--and find it quickly. There's too much to do in this life--too much fun to be had!--to waste time. I'm afraid, though, that my sister doesn't know what to do with me: she's not quite the efficiency-crazed person that I am. (I think I got all of the German genes...LOL).

43. I have an affinity for natural, holistic medicine, and actually prefer the natural to Western medicine for non-life-threatening situations. I'd love to learn more about the proper use herbs and essential oils.

44. I am fascinated by the idea that everything is energy. I voraciously read anything I can about Law of Attraction, etc. to better understand how to positively affect my life by obeying this law. And I love learning about the 7 chakras, including how to clear them.

45. According to Carol Tuttle's work about energy profiling, my dominant energy type is Type 1 with a secondary 4.

Nitrogen, Type 1: The bright, animated person who has a gift for new ideas and possibilities. The natural movement of Type 1 is upward and light. This can be seen in a Type 1 person’s personality and also their body language and physical features. A person with a dominant Type 1 expression is naturally an upward, light, upbeat person. Famous Type 1 people include: Rachel Ray, Goldie Hawn, Jim Carrey, and Will Smith.

Carbon, Type 4: The structured and exact person who has a gift for looking at the world through a critical eye and perfecting it. The natural movement of a Type 4 person is constant and precise. This can be seen in a Type 4 person’s personality and also in their body language and physical features. Famous Type 4 people include: Keanu Reeves, Simon Cowell, Demi Moore, and Audrey Hepburn.

SOURCE: Carol Tuttle, master energy therapist, "What is Energy Profiling?"

46. I used to dress my sister up in my Cabbage Patch premie's clothes (they fit her) and push her around in my doll's carriage. She was my living doll.

47. Weak ankles prevented me from moving on to pointe shoes in ballet, and they make skating dangerous for me (read: falling!).

48. I still have some of the jelly and friendship bracelets I wore in the 80s. But for some reason, they don't coordinate very well with my business professional attire. Go figure.

49. My parents thought I was going to be a boy. Oops. Sorry to disappoint y'all!

50. I've always wanted to build my own tree house and have sleepovers in it. And have a secret password. I'd let boys join me, though.

"Listen, I'll be honest with you: I love Jesus, but I drink a little"

2011-08-27T21:56:00.000-07:00

I've seen this clip many times before and laughed until I cried. Just came across it again and thought I should post it.

Gladys, the caller Ellen talks to, is huh-larious. A few gems from Gladys:

"Well, I'm sure that means something."
"You call me anytime. Do you have my number?"

Maddy Loves...Family!

2011-08-26T21:34:00.000-07:00

My family is dysfunctional, crazy, and sometimes unbearable. But we're also a pretty great bunch of people when we get together.

4 generations of head-strong, German women: Great Grandma (Bertie), me, Grandma (Audrey), and Mom

Holding my cousin Peter whilst my Dad holds me. (And yes, it's okay to say it: I *am* adorable, aren't I?!)

I heart my Dad. Always will.

Mom, me, and my sister (who has somehow seen fit to forgive me for teasing her that she was adopted).

Celebrating the opening of my sister's LDS mission call with our lovely grandmother.

My Dad's side of the family. A crazy bunch we are!

With my parents, grandpa, and sister at the airport before I left for my LDS mission to Colorado/Wyoming.

100 Random Things about Me -- #1-25

2011-08-26T12:49:00.000-07:00

Treeshka is often an inspiration to me. And today that inspiration is to copy her post. (Imitation is a sincere form of flattery, right? So here's me flattering Treeshka with an homage to her recent blog post.)

100 Random Things about Me

or 100 Things that Make You Say, "Hmmm...That Maddy...she's a bit...(what's the word?)..." LOL

Popcorn is a completely legitimate breakfast entree.
Though my passport is from the USA, I think I am secretly Canadian.
Life should come with a full arsenal of emoticons.
When I was 5, I was convinced I was Wonder Woman. Still pretty sure I could rock the world if only I had those awesome cuffs. And an invisible helicopter.
I'm "predictably rebellious," according to Treeshka. Not exactly sure what that means....
Eternity cologne is one of the best scents in the world. I have Yankee Candles with this scent (called by them Midsummer's Night) all over my house. And in my car. And in my office. And if I had a man who smelled like this, I'd be a goner! ;-)
If given the chance, I would listen to 10 songs on repeat all day long:

"Rise N Grind" (Donnie Wahlberg)
"Forever" (Chris Brown)
"I Do Not Hook Up" (Kelly Clarkson)
"Around the Way Girl" (LL Cool J)
"Do It to It" (Cherish)
"Stuck Like Glue" (Sugarland)
"Take Ya Home" (Lil' Bow Wow)
"Don't Turn out the Lights" (NKOTBSB)
"Always" (Atlantic Starr)
"Real Good Man" (Tim McGraw)

My favorite talent show performance: when my friend and I were "Silly Vanilli" in the sixth grade, complete with fake dreadlocks. Awe.Some.
I am not keen about reality television shows (So You Think You Can Dance? and Dancing with the Stars are the only exceptions to this)...but I occasionally get "sucked in" and watch marathons of America's Next Top Model on VH1 or Oxygen.
One of my favorite seasons of the year is March Madness. I anxiously await the Big Reveal on Selection Sunday...and then thoughtfully fill out the brackets. SPOILER ALERT: I usually pick Duke to win the Big Dance. I love me some Duke and Coach K! :)
My (not so) secret love: Indian food, Bollywood films, and Bollywood music. As I write this, I am listening to "Chale Chalo" from the Lagaan soundtrack. Makes me want to get up and start dancing! Just wish I understood what they were singing. Haha.
I don't like carrying a purse or a big bag. Although I can appreciate the love of beautiful purses, I don't think I'll ever own one because I wouldn't use it.

SOURCE: http://mke2lax.blogspot.com/2007/11/pdx-mke.ht
I have trained myself to NOT call a water fountain a "bubbler" (even though that's what it's really called...in Milwaukee...).
Spending more than $100 on a pair of shoes gives me great pause. Unless they are flip flops or some form of sandals.
Early in my career, I though that my fast-track was to become a librarian. Now I realize that I would've been too loud for that job. LOL
The first German words I recognized as a child were those my Oma yelled at me when I was in trouble. I'm pretty sure there were some serious swear words in there.
I love giving people nicknames. For example, one day in a staff meeting, I decided to call my boss "Tyrone," even though his name is simple Ty (not short for anything)--and he let me. Still lets me.
I secretly wanted to be on the Mickey Mouse Club but I wasn't ever brave enough to audition.
I am a night person. Unfortunately, my current work schedule doesn't accommodate that very well. I have the "night" thing down--i.e., staying up late working or doing other things--but the part that gets me is that I still have to get up super early the next morning. That's why THAT no work!
I rarely paint my finger nails. My toenails, however, are rarely "naked" (i.e., without polish). And I don't think I could ever stand the feeling of having fake fingernails.
My favorite ice cream is vanilla soft serve. DQ is one of the best.
I've always wanted to marry a man with a German-sounding last name because it would be "good for business" and give me more "street cred," haha. (I do a lot of business with Germans and German-Americans.)
I come from a boy scout family; both my parents and my dad's parents have been heavily involved with scouting for all of my life. I used to join my dad's troop on activities when I was younger (and I *knew* that all of those older boys were secretly in love with me, of course--even though I was 5 or 6 years old!), and later, I'd help him every year with Scouting for Food. I even have patches for doing this--just no cool khaki shirt to put them on!
I wear an Irish Claddagh ring on my right hand and never ever take it off. (It's my homage to my mom's Irish ancestry.)
I do not usually have the gift of nap. It's difficult for me to sleep on public transportation (buses, trains, planes) or in the car on road trips. Only when I'm extremely exhausted am I able to sleep. Even sleeping pills don't always do the trick. So, for me, red eye flights--where the point is for you to sleep whilst en route--only produce red eyes and a grouchy, exhausted me. Not necessarily the best idea for all involved.

Maddy Loves...Laughing!

2011-08-24T19:55:00.000-07:00

Note: NEVER e-v-e-r leave your camera alone when Casey, Amy W8, and I are around. Just sayin'... :-)

Laughing whilst dancing with Luke W.

Wet and tired, laughing with Sister Marta at Hanging Lake (Colorado).

Maddy Loves...Celebrating My Birthday Corner Gas Style!

2011-08-24T19:32:00.000-07:00

Some of my favorite Corner Gas bits:

Karen Pelly: I got a riddle for you, Hank. Okay. A plane crashes on the border of Alberta and Saskatchewan. Where do they bury the survivors?
Hank Yarbo: Hmmm. Tough one. Right on the border, huh? Well, is there one larger chunk of the airplane on one side?
Karen Pelly: No. It's broken directly in half, distributed over the two sides.
Hank Yarbo: Wow, that's really tough.
Karen Pelly: [Repeats herself] A plane crashes directly on the border of Alberta and Saskatchewan. Where do they bury the SURVIVORS?
Hank Yarbo: OHHHHH! The *survivors*.
[pause]
Hank Yarbo: Bury one on each side.

Oscar Leroy: Let me answer that question with another question: Shut up!

Brent LeRoy: [in Dog River's extremely small library] Hey Alice, I was wondering if...
Alice: Shh!
Brent LeRoy: Pardon?
Alice: [whispering] This is a library. Shh!
Brent LeRoy: Well, we're the only ones in here.
Alice: [whispering] I'm sorry Brent, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave if you don't keep it down.
Brent LeRoy: [whispering] Okay, I was just wondering if you had a book on child psychology.
Alice: [still whispering] On what?
Brent LeRoy: [still whispering] Child psychology.
Alice: [still whispering] "Jives on top of me"?
Brent LeRoy: [sarcastically] That's right Alice, I want a book about jives on top of you.

Oscar Leroy: Don't come crying to me when you need a fuzzy red lobster!

Hank Yarbo: [Brent and Hank are wearing the same shirt] Look at us, we're identical!
Brent LeRoy: We're not identical, I have different pants than you.
Hank Yarbo: Yeah, I don't even wanna get into your pants.
Brent LeRoy: You're not gonna with that kinda whining.

Maddy Loves...My Sister

2011-08-24T16:35:00.000-07:00

I only have one official, biological sister. That is much to my great disappointment. But even though I begged and pleaded, prayed to Heavenly Father and petitioned Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, all I got was the one sibling.

Which actually turned out just fine because my sister is amaze-balls!

We've always been close, despite the 7 years, 7 months, and 7 days difference in age.

With my sister when she returned from her LDS mission.

Holding my sister just after she was born (8 weeks premature).

Together in front of the Idaho Falls LDS temple before she left on her LDS mission.

At the Missionary Training Center (MTC) in Provo. See the orange "dork dot" on her black name tag? I had one of those too when I entered the MTC. Ah, the memories!

Just chillin'.

Chillin' some more...

Maddy Loves...People with Down syndrome!

2011-08-24T08:13:00.000-07:00

There's such a tender place in my heart for those who are perceived as "different" and/or "unwanted" or "unlovable." Two of my cousins (one from each side of my family) are autistic, which has brought this issue very close to home for me.

When I was at university, I had the privilege of directing a group called Unified Sports. The volunteer-led organization provided a weekly activity for people with Down syndrome and their families. It was during this wonderful time of service that my love for people with Down syndrome blossomed. Some of my fondest memories are from this special time.

Orphans with Down syndrome harrow my heart with a great force. Someday I will bring (at least) one of those precious children home to live with me. And someday I will be in a financially abundant position to enable other families to do the same.

Until those somedays...

At the Special Olympics when Dustin won (another) gold medal!

With Dustin as my "date" to a dance. (Love my crimped hair, eh?)

With Eli Rios, a previous "boyfriend" with Down syndrome. (I break the hearts of these poor boys, huh? Haha.)

With Dustin at his Eagle Scout Court of Honor. So proud of you, Dust!

Maddy Loves...Children

2011-08-23T23:44:00.000-07:00

...Probably because I act like one most of the time, haha!

My "niece" Brooke. Love her!!!

Hangin' out on the 4-wheeler. Sooooo much fun!

Despite the "head-butt hello" from Sammy here, he's super fun to hang out with!

Holding a sleeping Jackson Keith. He smelled soooo good!

Little Maddy and Big Maddy.

Maddy Loves...to Dance!

2011-08-23T22:19:00.000-07:00

Hip hop. Hula. Irish. Folk Dance. Clogging. Lyrical jazz. Ballroom. Salsa. Ballet. I haven't met a form of dance I didn't like.

One of the things I miss in my workaholic life is the opportunity to dance as much as I used to. Oh sure, I dance whenever and wherever I am: clogging down the aisle at the grocery store, bustin' a move while I'm driving, practicing ballet positions while standing in line--even doing a series of Chainé turns down the hallway of my office to pick up prints from the printer (like I did today!). But it's not the same. Not sure how to incorporate dance back into my life. I might not be able to have a career as a back-up dancer for Paula Abdul/Janet Jackson or be the principal ballerina in the Nutcracker as I dreamed of doing when I was younger. Hopefully, though, I can bring the happiness of dance into my life in a more structured, consistent way.

My ballet debut in the Balloon Dance. And yes, if you ask really nicely, I'll recreate this pose for you in person. But only if you ask REALLY nicely. Ok, let's be honest: I'll do it without anyone asking!

Practicing my clogging routine in my apartment. (I'm sure my neighbors below LOVED that!)

Even on when serving my LDS mission, I couldn't NOT dance! Here I am teaching the hula to seniors at a care center where we served each week.

Happy Birthday, Poppy!

2011-08-23T21:45:00.000-07:00

I love you, Poppy!

Maddy Loves...NKOTB

2011-08-23T21:16:00.000-07:00

I was converted to Blockism in 1988 with the first strains of little Joey Joe singing "Please...don't go, girrrl." From then until 1991-ish, I was a Blockhead fanatic: I wore the t-shirts and tour jackets (covered in myriad of buttons, of course); NKOTB posters, especially of Donnie, my favorite New Kid, were hung on every available wall space; my parents allowed me to camp out over night to get a good spot in line for concert tickets; I religiously watched MTV and other television programs and diligently checked newsstands for any sign of new NKOTB information or pictures; and I had the blankets, CDs, the sleeping bag, the dolls, the cartoons, the trading cards, home videos, recordings of their pay-per-view specials, etc etc etc.

When the group cancelled their July 5, 1991 (or 1992...I can't remember now) concert at Alpine Valley Amphitheater (in Wisconsin), I was devastated. And when I learned that they'd disbanded after their Face the Music album had come out, I was certain I would never recover. (LOL. Talk about being melodramatic, Anne Shirley!) Thankfully, I survived. :-D

Even if the group had not reunited in 2008, I would've continued to be a lifelong fan. Over the moves of many years, I've made the tough decisions to give away much of my NKOTB paraphernalia. However, one thing I WILL NOT EVER give away: my faded, pink NKOTB blanket. As I write this, I sit curled up with it on my bed. Maybe it's a Linus-like security blanket. Certainly, it brings great comfort and sense of security when I wrap myself in it, especially when I'm sick. All I know is that when I see the faded faces of Danny, Donnie, Joey, Jordan, and Jon on that blanket, I feel happy and remember the joy of being a 13-year-old Blockhead, dreaming of the day when I'd be BFFs with NKOTB. Oh yeah, and when Donnie Wahlberg would fall in love with me. (Still waiting on both of those, come to think of it! LOL.) It's my Happy Blanket...and that's all I need to know.

Maddy Loves...IKEA.

2011-08-23T19:55:00.000-07:00

Someday, I will have an "IKEA" house. And it will be wonderful.

Good job, thank you very much, amen!

IKEA in Milan. Awesome!

Maddy Loves...The Kickstand Queen!

2011-08-23T19:32:00.000-07:00

I love me wee puppy, Olivia (aka The Kickstand Queen). As I've mentioned before, I never really considered myself a "dog person" (or even a "pet person"). I like animals...but I never imagined myself with a pet in my house as an adult.

Cue Olivia stage left.

Following the preparation by Simon "You are My Human" Geilman, a Maltese dog who ruled his domain and trained me to love being his human (LOL), all Olivia had to do was look at me with those yittle puppy dog eyes and it was over. And after seeing her "kickstand" leg and hearing about her previous life PM (pre-Maddy) where she was abused (one of her owners kicked her in the face and broke her jaw, so now her snout it crooked) and then abandoned with 31 other dogs in a house where she had to fend for herself... yeah, I didn't stand a chance!

It's been an adventure (which I love) having Olivia live with me. She's training me well. Wish I could say the same thing about training her!

Over the last 10 months, her health has declined dramatically, thanks to an autoimmune disease that attacks her joints, the arthritis in her hips, and the cancer growing in her stomach (which is a side effect to the strong pain meds I give her every morning). "Going for a walk" means I pick her up in my arms and carry her outside to a grassy area in my townhome area so she can "do her job" something she does with much difficulty and pain. I worry everyday about her--how much pain she's enduring and whether I'll come home from my office or wake up in the morning to find her expired. And there is much anxiety I feel as I try to make her life as comfortable and as happy as possible.

But there is much joy. I love Miss Olivia.

I love her little waggy tail greeting me when I get home in the evenings.

I love that she will scurry behind my leg during a fireworks display or a thunderstorm--that she knows I will protect her.

I love that even though she will lick my hand (or face...or foot...or ankle...or arm...or face...or...) and wag her tail at me when we get up in the morning.

I love the way she sounds like Wilbur the pig when she's sniffing around on the floor for extra bits of food.

I love that she follows me around the house and that she just wants to be near me (not too close, mind you, but within a few feet--just to make sure that I'm not going anywhere.)

I love that she rolls over onto her back so I can "do MY job," i.e. rub her belly.

I love her gumption: even now, when she's in excruciating pain, she still tries sometimes to get up or down a few stairs, something that is extremely painful and difficult for The Kickstand Queen.

I love how when she "runs," it looks like she's doing the bunny hop.

I love that I can always tell when she's asleep because she snores. Loudly. (grin)

I love that she allowed (imperfect) me to bring her home and attempt to take care of her.

I love that she's taught me what it's like to love something/someone sooooo much that all I want to do is do what's best for her--what will bring her happiness (if dogs feel that...?) and will help her feel safe and comfortable.

Yeah...I'd say I'm whooped! LOL.

Maddy Loves...a Harley!

2011-08-23T19:22:00.000-07:00

One of the greatest sounds in the world? The guttural sound of a Harley Davidson's engine. Whenever I hear that beautiful sound, I pause and put my hand over my heart in reverence. Someday I will have my very own Harley. Someday!

Maddy Loves...Doing Crazy Things and Finding the "Crazy" in Daily Life!

2011-08-23T19:15:00.000-07:00

My way of not getting sunburned at the Turtle Bay beach.

Helping one of the Easter Island statues get his hat on.

Playing a lovely melody on the uke'le'le.

Finding (in a singsong voice) "another pe-cu-li-arity" wherever I travel. This one: chickens on the side of the road in Hawai'i!

Bows on Christmas packages? $1.00. Wearing gift bows on my head? Priceless. LOL.

Treeshka and I saw this HUGE wooden shoe as we were rushing through the Amsterdam airport. The shoe just begged to be in a picture!

AWESOME hair after camping. A beauty, ain't it?

Treeshka making friends with a Nutcracker.

Stevie Wonder, er, I mean, Treeshka during one of our many (many, many, MANY) meetings at work.

Thanks to Melissa and Tracy--and the big plastic pair of scissors--I was able to secure new employment: as an OFFICIAL ribbon cutter. Have plastic scissors, will travel!

Birthdays are meant to be celebrated in full. And in this case, it means waking up the Birthday Girl very early in the morning, dressing her up in a plastic tiara and a fluffy boa, and taking her to breakfast so everyone can see her!

One of THE best Christmas gifts E-V-E-R: our very own Nerf dart guns. And yes, we did, spend the rest of Christmas day shooting the guns a) at each other and b) at a bull's eye we'd drawn on the sliding glass door. It was EPIC!

"I don't know why I'm SOOOO awesome! I just AM!" LOL.

A little La Jolla love, baby!

At The Spud Drive-in. Nothin' says fine cinema like watching a movie in your car in a field, surrounded on each side by horses and cattle. But at least they have delicious tater tots. Yes, indeedy!

Just "hanging' around with Melganie, Suz, and Jenga Brittany

"I'm ready for my close-up, dahling."

The best way to consume whipped cream: directly from the can!

At Garden of the Gods (Colorado) with Jonathan, Char, and Ry. (Char and Ry are astride a statue of a bull.)

"Holy Mother of All ... freeeeeezing cold lake!" (Star Valley, Wyoming)

No sleep? Check. 10+ hours in a car? Check. Waiting to hike 12 miles into Havasupai. Check!

Que pasa, Nacho Jason?

Boy! The world is heavy! I need to put my "back into it"!

Wanna see what I just ate? Do ya? Do ya?

Pretending to be a cheerleader at the boys' Turkey Bowl.

Beds were meant to be landed upon. And blankets? Just capes waiting to be tied around your neck!

Modeling the wedding items Celeste's soon-to-be aunt in-law thought were, um, pretty (?).

Post-search for the Grand Daddy of All Puddles. Jessica and I ran around the BYU campus in our bare feet, jumping in e-v-e-r-y puddle we could find!

Maddy Loves...Dr Pepper

2011-08-23T18:49:00.000-07:00

Me and the good Dr don't always get along. But he sure is helpful--and a tasty alternative to Excedrin--when I have a migraine!

Maddy Loves...The Mountains

2011-08-23T18:47:00.000-07:00

Maddy Loves...Aloha!

2011-08-23T18:45:00.000-07:00

One of my mission companions, Sister Selu, used to say, "Girl, you soooo brown on the inside!" I think it's true. I have a deep affinity for all things Polynesian. (Maybe that is why I also love flip flops, yeah?) From the shaking my hips doing the traditional dances of Polynesia...to vacationing in beautiful Hawai'i...to wearing Island apparel...to wishing I could play the uke'le'le...to some of my favorite people in the world (they are brown, haha).

Teaching some young women how to hula at Girls' Camp

With Amy and Judy at BYU-Hawai'i

Talofa!

At Sam Choy's in Honolulu with Auntie Ipo and Judy

Malo e lelei, indeed!

At "home" (according to Sister Selu...) 'cuz my skin is "so dark" -- LOL

Oh we're go-ing, to a Hukilau. A Huki-, Huki-, Huki-, Huki-, Hukilau!

Surprised by the wave. (Don't know if you can see, but I'm totally drenched!)


With my Mom at PCC in Laie

My Poly Sunga: Sister Selu

With another Poly companion, Sister Pahulu, with our favorite boys in Cheyenne

Ou te alofa ia te oe, Sunga!

ROTFL! This is my favorite pic of Sister Selu. Makes me giggle just looking at it.

"Look at dem nasty, ashy legs, girrl! You be crazy!"

Maddy Is...A Little Bit Ghetto

2011-08-23T18:18:00.000-07:00

Pretty fly for a white girl, huh?

Most people wouldn't know it, but underneath this attractive, conservative exterior is a hip hop honey waiting to get unleashed! One of my favorite things is to get out on the dance floor and watch the jaws drop as they realize that a white girl can move like that! LOL.

I don't know if it's because I lived for many years as one of the few Caucasian people in my neighborhood in South Milwaukee (pronounced Muh-wah-key, thankyouverymuch), or if I was just born this way...but this is how I am.

(Needless to say, the peeps in the Idaho and Utah weren't sure what to do with me. I'm used to that by now!)

With Dave Spencer at a Halloween par-tay

The Hip Hop HoneyZ with Betty Crocker

Holla!

Maddy Loves...the Temple!

2011-08-23T18:08:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite places on earth is the temple. I love it because it's so peaceful. I love it because, when I'm inside the edifice or even sitting on its grounds, I feel transported to a heavenly place--one where the cares of my world melt away. I love it because I feel like me when I'm there.

Whenever I travel, I make it a practice to visit any temple in the area. I don't have pictures from all of the temples I've visited; here are a few of the ones I do have.

At the Frankfurt LDS temple

With Judy at the Twin Falls, Idaho LDS temple open house

With Judy at the Laie, Hawai'i temple

With my awesome sister at the Draper, Utah LDS temple open house


With the fam at the Mount Timpanogos (Utah) LDS temple


The site of the Rome, Italy LDS temple

At the Boston, Massachusetts LDS temple

Maddy Loves...BYU Football!

2011-08-23T17:58:00.000-07:00

The rumors are true: I bleed blue! And my favorite day during the fall? Well, that's Saturday, my friend--the days for FOOTBALL!

Me at a BYU football game. Goooo, Cougars!

Me and Judy showing our school spirit.

Meeting one of my heroes: Coach Bronco Mendenhall

Our group in LaVell Edwards stadium. I wish my season tickets were this close!

Judy stepping onto "sacred ground" (aka the football field of LaVell Edwards stadium).

How excited am I to be standing on the BYU football field? SOOOOOO excited!

Maddy Loves...Flip Flops

2011-08-23T16:34:00.000-07:00

Flip flops, sandals, slippers (if you are in Hawai'i). Call 'em what you want, baby, I'll still call it love. (Name that song!) If given the choice, I would wear flip flops, or some version thereof, 365 days a year. Even in the winter. Judy's mom regularly tells me to put on some "appropriate foot attire," which I sometimes do just for her. But my feet...they get claustrophobic and need fresh air; that's why I can only stand to wear other footwear sparingly--and usually only when absolutely necessary (e.g. at my office, to church, etc).

Someday when I rule the world, flip flops will be acceptable footwear for all occasions.

And that is my report.

Me fitting my flip flopped foot into Will Smith's shoe imprint. Not quite a match, haha.

Finding a Husband: Is it REALLY this easy?

2011-08-23T15:54:00.000-07:00

There I was, I was doing some genealogy....when I saw the answer to my marriage dilemma. (Who'd have thought that it would've there all along!?) I've been going about this all wrong. I don't need to be going to clubs or looking for love online. No! All I need to do is click on one little hyperlink and ALL of my problems are solved!

If I just click on ADD OR FIND HUSBAND, apparently FamilySearch does the work for me (!). Not sure if my husband, wherever and whoever he is, has some sort of GPS tracking device attached to him that is activated when I click on ADD OR FIND HUSBAND...? I guess I don't need to know exactly how it works as long as I know it does work, right?

Man! If I would've known this existed, I would've clicked on the links years ago! LOL.

I guess it apparently works for having children also (ADD OR FIND CHILD). But maybe I'll wait to click on that link until my husband shows up. ;-)

Maddy is...Awesome!

2011-08-02T08:43:00.000-07:00

On my commute this morning, I was thinking about how great I am.

Now, I know that sounds pretty arrogant, so let me explain the context: friends of mine recently told me that I was too reluctant to acknowledge the wonderful things that I am able to accomplish with God's help, and that by doing this I wasn't honoring God to the fullest. I took those words to heart; I've since made a concerted effort to look for the hand of the Lord in my life and see ways in which He helps me to be the best me I can be.

Recording what I see will also help me, so you'll notice the next series of blog posts will be about this theme. My hope is that I can honor God by honoring the good from Him in me. It's a new concept for me (I'm usually the first one to point out my weaknesses)--but I hope it is one I can embrace and incorporate into my life.

So, my first post on this subject is simply this: I am awesome!

Show Your Hearts: Donate to help the Berry Family!

2011-07-27T10:37:00.000-07:00

I can't imagine what it would be like to be driving along with my parents one minute...and find myself in a horrific car accident the next. But that's exactly the situation the Berry children found themselves in. The parents were tragically killed, leaving behind three orphaned children--Peter (age 9), Aaron (age 8), and Willa (age 6)--to fend for themselves. And even though the children survived, the situation the Berry children are in is still perilous: Peter and Aaron sustained serious spinal cord injuries and are paralyzed below the waist; and the costs are high to meet all of the children's ongoing needs--not just medical and physical but psychological assistance as well.

We can help. I'm a firm believer that "by small and simple things, great things are brought to pass." Any donation you and I can make, however small we may think it is, will greatly benefit these children. Please donate whatever amount you can to the Show Your Hearts organization; they will ensure that all donations will be deposited directly in the Joshua and Robin Berry Children's Trust.

Joshua and Robin Berry Children's Trust
Bank of Texas
510 Bering, 5th Floor
Houston, Texas 77057

You can also text BERRY to 85944 to make a $10 donation remember to reply yes to confirm your gift. **Donations are NOT tax deductible.

Someone asked me why I care so much about three children I've never met. Why would I (in his words) "waste" my time trying to garner funds for strangers. "Don't you have more important things to do?"

As a logically-minded business woman, I understand the genesis of his question. We use opportunity costs and ROI (return on investment) in situations to measure value; metrics help us create a baseline, gauge our efforts, and make improvements where necessary. According to his calculations, the opportunity cost of investing my limited time in helping strangers seemed ludicrous.

I think differently.

In measuring the ROI on helping others, I use a different, personal set of metrics. I measure the qualitative--not quantitative--value of my investment. What is the ROI if I don't help others? Selfishness. Pride. Shrinking of self. Lost opportunities for feeling joy. Money, possessions, time, etc getting a greater hold upon my heart.

"Because I have been given much, I too must give." That is the standard I embrace--one that cannot be adequately measured by numbers and formulas. And perhaps it appears foolish to some who cannot see how "wasting time" on someone else's children is a valid use of one's time--especially when business is to be done. But shouldn't we really be about a Higher Business, that of helping each other?

Smart Dog, Dumb Human -- Episode 2

2011-04-29T12:58:00.000-07:00

I thought I was helping Olivia stay warm by not having her hair cut for several months. It was cold, I reasoned, and she's a yittle dog. So when she'd get groomed (whether by me or by a professional), she'd just get the bath and brush.

Admittedly, she started looking like a sheep dog--or, better yet, I guess she was looking more like her "Best in Show" cousins with the long, flowing mane.

The long, flowing hair was difficult to keep clean in some areas (sanitary reasons), but it was also difficult to keep from matting, especially around her collar and behind her ears. I spent a great deal of time attempting to brush out the matted hair behind her ears--but even using special product to untangle the mess did not help. Plus, O definitely did not want to sit still whilst I used a prickly brush to pull on her hair.

After MUCH stress (and competing against every other dog owner in the area who had the same idea), I got Olivia into the groomer for what I thought would be a small trim.

When I arrived, however, I learned that the only solution to the matted parts was to CUT IT OFF. (Apparently, I should've been brushing O before washing her not after. Who knew?!)

I reluctantly agreed to the severe cut (poor O!, I thought) and left O in the capable hands of the grooming staff.

When I returned to collect O from the spa and they brought her out to me, I thought they'd brought me a Chihuahua.

Oh, but it wasn't a Chihuahua: it was Olivia.

I just looked at her and felt so bad. The groomer had to shave off more than we'd discussed when I dropped Olivia off (more matted hair from O's owner--i.e., me--not brushing her hair correctly or enough). I kept apologizing to O, not that she understood what I said.

Lesson learned, though: I need to brush O before I bathe her. (I got it. Message received--unfortunately at the expense of little Olivia.)

Smart Dog, Dumb Human

2011-03-26T13:00:00.000-07:00

I adopted a "special needs" dog a few months ago. Olivia was born with what we lovingly call a "kickstand" hind leg, and she developed a severe case of separation anxiety. She was rescued from a hoarding situation (lived in a house with 31 other dogs) and came from an abusive home before that. To say that she's had it rough during the last two years would be an understatement.

I'm not what one would normally call a "pet person," so bringing home a dog was not part of my "plan." However, when I saw Olivia at the PetCo, I knew I needed to bring her home. For the most part, I think Olivia enjoys her new home and new caregiver (me); she isn't affectionate like other dogs I've known--she tolerates me petting her, haha--and she has a detached but needy attitude. (How's that for dog psychotherapy?) Olivia does, however, follow me everywhere I go; she won't even go outside on our patio if I don't walk out there with her.

Olivia especially hates it when I leave for work in the morning. Initially she was swift and smart enough to dash out of the door after me, so I had to be tricky when I left to keep her inside the house. During the last few weeks, Olivia has suffered from intense pain and hasn't been able to move very much. (It breaks my heart to see her suffer so much!) She, nevertheless, figured out a way to prevent me from leaving for work: she limps over to the garage door and plops her little body in front of the door, positioning herself in such a way that I cannot open the door.

The first time this happened, I just laughed. What a smart dog I have! She figured out that if she wanted me to stay home--and that door was taking me away--that she should not let me open the door. Brilliant plan!

Telling My Story

2010-10-18T19:04:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I get so caught up in seeking to understand others and what their stories are that I forget to tell my own story. I think one of the purposes (though I couldn't identify it as such at the time) of this blog is to tell my story. To share my thoughts and feelings, my fears and desires, my insights and "aha" moments. To share, in essence, me.

Something I read today reminded me of the need to tell our own story. (See Alicia Morga: Telling my Story on Camera, dare to dream blog by Whitney Johnson, posted 14 October 2010.)

Alicia's story could be any of ours (change some of the minor details of course). How many of us yearn to share what's inside--all of the dreams that no one knows about--but, as Alicia did, get stopped cold by someone's comment or attitude. Even life's events can stop us cold. We freeze and forget; our story gets left out in the cold.

Telling My Story

As I thought about Alicia's story, I resolved to be brave and share at least some snippets of my own story. So, here goes.

One thing people don't usually know about me: I am successful but unhappy where I am.

I work in a job very closely aligned with my bachelor's degree (how many people can say that?) and have done so, in various positions, for the last 8+ years. But there's a part of me, which gets more and more vocal, that yearns to do something else. I'm feeling very strongly that the "expiration date" on this opportunity is nearing. Yet...I don't know what else to do. My profession is what I know. The contacts I have in my network are in this field, my resume is filled with qualifications in this field. And it's not that I want to completely abandon this field altogether; I'd just like a change of scenery.

The dream I am currently "dating" is... to write and be published.

We've dated before, me and writing. In fact, before I changed my major in college, I was intent on pursuing a lifetime of bliss with writing. I thought that once I received my creative writing / journalism double major, I would become a professor and live the academic life, complete with tenure, a Pulitzer Prize, and an office with a window. Experiences during my first semester at university changed my professional direction, however, and writing and I "broke up" for a time. Oh, we'd "hang out" occasionally when I'd write an article for a professional publication--it was fun to renew our acquaintance and remember why I loved writing so much--but then I'd leave writing to return to my day job. As much as I loved writing, I just couldn't see how we could make the relationship work long-term.

The profession with whom I've been for the 8+ years has treated me well. Opportunities arose and paths opened that I could never have envisioned. It's been an incredible and blessed time together. I am grateful for the experiences I've had and the people with whom I've associated and from whom I've learned throughout my career thus far. I do not regret changing my major. I do not regret what I have done, where I have worked, or the opportunities I've received.

Yet...there is still that part of me yearning for a permanent reconciliation with writing. I don't want to "cheat" on my current career...but my first love, writing, is still very appealing to me. Don't know how or if it's possible to make a career in writing, especially with no contacts in the industry. It's difficult to even think about leaving a "sure thing" in my professional field to jump into the unknown of another career. Especially with a mortgage!

To be continued....

The Scriptural Number Ten on 10/10/10

2010-10-10T10:10:00.000-07:00

I like to think about the symbolism behind words, cultural phrases, numbers, etc; it helps me understand what I'm reading, especially the scriptures, much better.

Since today is 10/10/10, I searched for information about the number 10 -- and I found a wonderfully insightful article by scholars John W. Welch and James T. Summerhays about the number 10 and its significance in the scriptures.

Here are some of the highlights from the article:

1. Ten is the number of perfection in many cultures
2. Ten signifies full worthiness before God.
3. Consecration and sacrifice involve the giving of a tenth.
4. Testing and trials in the extreme run tenfold.
5. Justice and religious affairs are administered conclusively in tens.
6. Invoking the name of God ten times as a sign of complete reverence.
7. Receiving the Word of the Lord.
8. Penitence and Atonement associated with tens.
9. Supplication and prayer needs to endure ten times over.
10. Sacred cosmology and the tenth heaven.

Read the full article, "The Scriptural Number Ten on October 10, 2010" by John W. Welch and James T. Summerhays by clicking this link: Meridian Magazine - The Scriptural Number Ten on October 10, 2010

"SciFi" Mormon Ad

2010-10-10T08:39:00.000-07:00

Very clever ad.

Virtue: For Such a Time as This (Esther 4:14)

2010-10-09T03:48:00.000-07:00

Gratitude: The Antidote to Pride and a Hard Heart

2010-10-08T15:51:00.000-07:00

When Walter asked Trish and me what it meant to have a hard heart, I wasn't certain how to answer his question--or if the words I chose would translate into Italian. Trish and I both offered some explanation...but I didn't feel satisfied that we had answered his question. So, I've continued thinking about this topic.

I listened to a BYU-Idaho devotional that seemed to offer a better explanation that I could offer Walter when I was in Rome.

President Kim B. Clark warned listeners that "we live in a society awash in the poisonous spirit of entitlement. All of us need to be aware of, prepared for, and protected against the awful effects of this deadly poison...[and] gratitude is the great antidote, the great protection against the spirit of entitlement" ("Drenches in Gratitude: Protection Against the Spirit of Entitlement," Brigham Young University-Idaho devotional, 14 September 2010, emphasis added).

Gratitude. That is the antidote.

When we feel entitled--that we "deserve" this or that--or lack appreciation for what we have, that is when the poison of pride begins to seep into our blood. If left unchecked, it will reach our heart and harden it to the point that we will stop feeling the Holy Ghost.

President Clark continues:

If you and I have the spirit of entitlement, it means we have an attitude and belief that the world owes us what we want. Like Laman and Lemuel, some who harbor the spirit of entitlement believe they have been shortchanged in life or aggrieved in some way and that they deserve more than they are getting. Often those who succumb to the spirit of entitlement feel superior to those around them, or believe certain rules should not apply to them, or that they should not be required to do what everyone else has to do. They believe they are entitled to special treatment and special privileges. They want something for nothing.

The spirit of entitlement has a history that goes back to the War in Heaven. Satan was full of pride and the spirit of entitlement when he rebelled and fought against the Father and the Son. He said to God, “I will redeem all mankind, that one soul shall not be lost, and surely I will do it; wherefore give me thine honor.” Jesus, in contrast, said simply, “Father, thy will be done, and the glory be thine forever.”

It is the law of heaven that “when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.” But the blessing comes in God’s “own time, and in his own way.” Not only was Satan’s proposal contrary to God’s law and plan, but he demanded the blessing of God’s honor. Where Jesus was humble and submissive to the Father’s will, Satan was proud and entitled. Satan embraced the demanding spirit of entitlement in the pre-mortal realm and was “cast down.” Now he seeks to infect us with its deadly poison.

That infection often begins with small and simple feelings we might each encounter under certain circumstances; for example, a brother who was absent for several classes in the semester but claimed he should be treated differently because he was the head of a campus organization; or a sister who felt she had a right to an A in a class just because she had turned in all the assignments; or a brother who believed he had a right to park next to every classroom building.

-- "Drenches in Gratitude: Protection Against the Spirit of Entitlement," Brigham Young University-Idaho devotional, 14 September 2010 (emphasis added)

So, Walter, does that answer your question? If not, read more of President Clark's devotional.

Kiss Kismet Goodbye

2010-10-08T07:02:00.000-07:00

Fate is an interesting concept. But does fate or cosmic kismet actually determine our destiny or the final outcome of events? Are we really "destined" to do one thing or another--or can/does individual agency influence what we call fate?

I wonder if sometimes it's too easy to abdicate personal responsibility for our lives and call it "fate." When we claim that the sequence of events was "out of my control," are we actually saying, "It was too difficult for me to keep trying"?

I'm indicting myself by these questions.

When I am pushed beyond my limits, I have a tendency to push back and to give up. I wither like the poor plant in my house that I forget to water, and I retreat to the "safe place" of self-deception--a place where I convince myself that pursuing my desire is a fool's errand and I already have too much on my "to do" list to waste time on something I cannot achieve. (What kind of nonsense is THAT?!)

Then my mantra becomes "why bother." Why bother trying, I ask, if I'm only going to fail? The problem with the "why bother" is that this apathy infects my vision of myself and everything else I'm trying to accomplish in my life, including getting out of bed in the morning. Apathy leads to despair and hopelessness.

There is a cure for apathy and fatalistic thinking: hope and action. There is no kiss of kismet to keep us drowning in the quicksand if we use our agency to try. When all we can do is reach out to God, even if that is simply by admitting we are drowning and can't save ourselves, God will run to us and save us. I've experienced this wonderful miracle time and again--and yet, in the most dire circumstances, I seem to develop spiritual amnesia and forget that the Lord's help is even on the menu of choices. Thankfully, He helps me remember: through a gentle, patient friend; by the peace I feel amidst extreme turmoil; through small and simple words of someone I don't know that lead to the "aha" I need to "come to myself."

I am grateful for the Lord's patience with me as I learn to use my agency well -- and for His forgiveness when I chose to abdicate. He is with me in all choices, good or bad, and helps me remember that I don't have to be perfect, a reminder I need on a daily basis. The only destiny I have is the one I choose...and I choose to follow Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, wherever that path leads me.

Remembering to Be Grateful

2010-10-07T12:23:00.000-07:00

Judy sent this link to me. (Thanks!)

The comedian says, "Everything is amazing and nobody's happy." Intriguing...and very true.

The Message of the Restoration

2010-10-05T04:55:00.000-07:00

Elder L. Tom Perry, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, testifies about the Restoration of the Gospel.

Love Is Spicy, Love Is Hot

2010-10-04T07:37:00.000-07:00

I'm in love.

It's not something that I ever thought I'd say...but it's absolutely true. I'm in love!

Yes, I'm in love...with The Spice House. From the first moment I stepped through the doors of its Old World Third Street store, I knew I would never be the same.

So, here's my declaration to the world: I heart The Spice House!

Good job, thank you very much, amen.

Withholding Answers Allows Us to Confidently Exercise Our Agency

2010-10-04T06:58:00.000-07:00

It is vitally important to recognize that the Lord also responds a third way to prayer by withholding an answer when the prayer is offered. Why would He do that?

He is our perfect Father. He loves us beyond our capacity to understand. He knows what is best for us. He sees the end from the beginning. He wants us to act to gain needed experience:

When He answers yes, it is to give us confidence.

When He answers no, it is to prevent error.

When He withholds an answer, it is to have us grow through faith in Him, obedience to His commandments, and a willingness to act on truth. We are expected to assume accountability by acting on a decision that is consistent with His teachings without prior confirmation. We are not to sit passively waiting or to murmur because the Lord has not spoken. We are to act.

-- Elder Richard G. Scott, “Learning to Recognize Answers to Prayer,” Ensign, Nov 1989, 30 (emphasis added)

Simple Desire, Simply Miraculous

2010-10-04T06:36:00.000-07:00

I don't believe in coincidence.

The more I learn about Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, the more I begin to see Their Hands in my life. In daily life. In small, seemingly inconsequential aspects. In "why would anyone else care about this but me" desires. In short, in the minutia of who I am and what is in my heart.

So, it was not surprising to me that as I've been pondering about some changes in my life and praying about which path to pursue, "coincidences" keep occurring.

Conversations with a colleague when in Italy enabled me to recognize what I already had--and what I genuinely wanted out of life.
A comment on my Facebook page made by my beautiful, insightful cousin Claire encouraging me to do what I'd been afraid to do.
A phrase someone used during a business dinner that seemed to be a personal confirmation directly from Heavenly Father saying, "Yes, my beautiful daughter, you have chosen the right thing."
A text from someone with whom I don't regularly communicate had Heavenly Father's name written all over it (I knew He had inspired it to occur).
"Stumbling upon" blog posts and tweets that led to the "aha" I needed
Finding "kindred spirits" among other bloggers who are able to put into words what I've been thinking/feeling.
Listening to General Conference and hearing the Holy Ghost teach me small and simple truths about who I am, how God feels about me, and what He wants me to do.

Historically, I could/would write these simple things off as...well, coincidences really. Experiences that were nice "one offs" but had nothing to do with the answers I needed from Heavenly Father, overlooking the "small" because I was expecting the "great" all at once.

Now I understand what I've been missing: the answers I desired were there all along, but I just didn't recognize them wearing such "plain clothes."

Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught a similar principle, indicating that these "coincidences" are a confirmation from Heavenly Father that we are on the right path:

Most often what we have chosen to do is right. He will confirm the correctness of our choices His way. That confirmation generally comes through packets of help found along the way. We discover them by being spiritually sensitive. They are like notes from a loving Father as evidence of His approval. If, in trust, we begin something which is not right, He will let us know before we have gone too far. We sense that help by recognizing troubled or uneasy feelings.

-- Elder Richard G. Scott, “Learning to Recognize Answers to Prayer,” Ensign, Nov 1989, 30 (emphasis added)

I love that image: "notes from a loving Father as evidence of His approval." Like going on a treasure hunt, following clue after clue--and knowing that you are on the right path because you find the next clue.

These seemingly simple "notes from a loving Father" truly lead to wonderous, great things that I sometimes (too often) take for granted. As the prophet Alma taught his son Helaman:

Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise.

And the Lord God doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes; and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls.
-- Alma 37:6-7 (emphasis added)

It should not surprise me then in the economy of heaven, that Heavenly Father is aware of not only my grand desires but also of the "small and simple" personal desires I have each day: for a parking spot so I won't be late to an important meeting...for, well, whatever righteous desire I have in my heart that would enable me to feel a portion of His love and care for me.

Fulfilling these "small," daily desires is a more difficult task, I think, because these are the ones I wouldn't necessarily pray about. These are the "freebies" that God gives just because He can and because He loves me.

Another blogger insightfully shared it this way:

I am amazed that I am much like the sparrow, and that the hand of God is in my life for so simple a desire....

It seems so simple, yet so unbelievable to a grown up, so believable to a child.

We become so knowledgeable, educated, and dependent on scientific research when we “grow up” that we lose our simple ability to believe in the unseen hand of God. It’s not Santa Clause, it's the unseen world that we left when we were born as helpless infants into the space we call earth.

-- Deila, "When the Sparrow Falls on the Ground," published online 1 October 2010, Mormon Mommy Blogs (emphasis added)

Too simple. Too unbelieveable to a grown up. Too wonderous. Too amazing. Too much what I want.

Why should I deny the Lord from blessing me with what I want--even if what I want at this moment isn't some monumental, philanthropic desire to bring about world peace but is rather a "small," personal desire for what I need, what would be good for me, right here, right now for my personal growth and happiness?

Why should I stand in His way from demonstrating His love for me and His power in my life because something seems "too good to be true"? He IS good and He IS true. That should be enough reason to throw out all of the scientific calculations and dare to dream that the unseen hand of God will bring to pass a few moments of bliss for me, the daughter He loves so much.

Simple moments I desire that will be simply miraculous because I know from whence they came: from the Father who loves me, who knows me, and who knows how vital those moments of bliss are for me.

World peace, like other monumental goals, begins with "small and simple" steps. Like Heavenly Father blessing me with a few moments of peace in my world.

Shout out!

2010-10-03T11:15:00.000-07:00

I love General Conference for a multitude of reasons. But one of them is because I can see Aunt Rosemary singing her heart out in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Every time the camera pans across her section, I wait anxiously to see her. And then...there she is!

Seeing her makes me so happy because she is wonderful and so full of light and goodness. It is especially wonderful for me this weekend since I am on a business trip and watching General Conference alone via the Internet in my hotel room: when I see her familiar face, I feel less alone.

So, here's a "shout out" to marvelous Aunt Rosemary. Love you!

Why Mormons Build Temples

2010-10-03T03:33:00.000-07:00

How Do I Love Thee?

2010-10-02T05:00:00.000-07:00

A wonderful reminder from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland.

"Think the best of each other, especially of those you say you love. Assume the good and doubt the bad."

Preparing for the Second Coming

2010-10-01T20:09:00.000-07:00

The Book of Mormon: A Book with a Promise

2010-09-30T23:44:00.000-07:00

Are Mormons Christians?

2010-09-30T08:41:00.001-07:00

The Mark of a True Man: Love and Sacrifice

2010-09-30T08:27:00.000-07:00

Unanswered Yet?

2010-09-30T05:55:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite hymns is not found in the latest edition of the LDS hymnal, although it was published in the 1950 edition of the hymnal. I first heard the song when I was performing in the Spire Music choir under the direction of Rob Gardner, and I have been in love with the song ever since.

Unanswered yet? The prayer your lips have pleaded
In agony of heart these many years?
Does faith begin to fail, is hope departing,
And think you all in vain those falling tears?
Say not the Father hath not heard your prayer;
You shall have your desire, sometime, somewhere.

Unanswered yet? Though when you first presented
This one petition at the Father’s throne,
It seemed you could not wait the time of asking,
So urgent was your heart to make it known.
Though years have passed since then, do not despair;
The Lord will answer you, sometime, somewhere.

Unanswered yet? But you are not unheeded;
The promises of God forever stand;
To Him our days and years alike are equal;
“Have faith in God”; it is your Lord’s command.
Hold on to Jacob’s angel and your prayer
Shall bring a blessing down sometime, somewhere.

Unanswered yet? Nay, do not say ungranted;
Perhaps your part is not yet wholly done;
The work began when first your prayer was uttered,
And God will finish what He has begun.
If you will keep the incense burning there,
His glory you shall see, sometime, somewhere.

Unanswered yet? Faith cannot be unanswered;
Her feet were firmly planted on the Rock;
Amid the wildest storm prayer stands undaunted,
Nor quails before the loudest thunder shock.
She knows Omnipotence has heard her prayer,
And cries, “It shall be done,” sometime, somewhere.

-- "Unanswered yet? a prayer", words and lyrics by Charles D. Tillman, 1894; published in Hymns: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints [1950], hymn no. 286.

Motherhood

2010-09-30T04:00:00.000-07:00

As always, an inspiring message from an Apostle: Elder Jeffrey R. Holland.

Here's a salute to all of the mothers out there! Thank you for what you do. You truly are doing God's work. And you are amazing.

When the Answer Doesn't Seem to Come...

2010-09-29T20:26:00.000-07:00

If I ask him to give me wisdom concerning any requirement in life, or in regard to my own course, or that of my friends, my family, my children, or those that I preside over, and get no answer from him, and then do the very best that my judgment will teach me, he is bound to own and honor that transaction, and he will do so to all intents and purposes.

--President Brigham Young, Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young [1997], 46.

Blessings of Family History and Temple Work

2010-09-29T19:22:00.000-07:00

"While temple and family history work has the power to bless those beyond the veil, it has an equal power to bless the living."

-- Elder Russell M. Nelson, Russell M. Nelson, "Generations Linked in Love", Ensign, May 2010, 91–94

How has participating in temple and/or family history work blessed your life?

Surrendering Our Way to Power

2010-09-29T19:12:00.000-07:00

How can we reconcile mandated submission with God’s instruction to be anxiously engaged? I think the answer is simple. As we submit our minds, hearts, and wills to God, He lends us more and more of His power. By surrendering our power, we gain His. Submission opens the door to heavenly power.

-- Wallace Goddard, Meridian Magazine - Surrendering Our Way to Power (emphasis added).

Ode to a Honeycrisp Apple

2010-09-29T12:19:00.000-07:00

The sound of fall
Not falling leaves or trick-or-treaters
But a bite of you, dear apple,
Your could not be sweeter.

All year I pine
And wait anxiously for your arrival
Tolerating other tastes
Biding my time; it is pure survival.

Then the signs appear--
Oh what joy and rapture are mine--
To see you in the market
Bringing arm-fulls of you to my home to dine.

There Are Many Ways to Give

2010-09-29T10:02:00.000-07:00

Thinking about giving? LDS Philanthropies has a page that enumerates various ways to donate time, resources, and money. There Are Many Ways to Give

Listening to the Spirit

2010-09-29T07:46:00.000-07:00

A wonderful reminder from President James E. Faust about how to tune ourselves to the Spirit. Very moving.

Did Anyone Get the Message?

2010-09-29T06:00:00.000-07:00

For the last few days, I've had the lyrics to a Jason Mraz song stuck in my head. And not the whole song even, just a few stanzas that keep repeating over...and over...and over again. It's getting annoying.

This morning when that song popped into my head yet again and I was trying to figure out why these words won't leave my head, I decided to write out the lyrics and see what was so catchy about them that my brain wouldn't let go.

Did you get my message, the one I left
While I was trying to condense everything
That I meant in a minute or less when I called to confess
And make all of my stresses go bye-bye

Did you get my message, you did not guess
'cuz if you did you would have called me with your sweet intent
And we could give it a rest
'stead of beating my breast
Making all of the pressure go sky-high

Do you ever wonder what happens to the words that we send
Do they bend, do they break from the flight that they take
And come back together again with a whole new meaning
In a brand new sense, completely unrelated to the one I sent

--Jason Mraz, "Did You Get My Message?", Mr. A-Z.

Interesting words. "Did you get my message?" That's something I have been wondering lately about Heavenly Father and about others. I speak, I write, I pray, I communicate in whatever way I can. But does anyone hear? Is my message--what I'm meaning to say, not just the words that are used--reaching the intended audience?

Or are the words--and my fears--morphing what I'm trying to say? Are they, as Jason Mraz suggests, "break[ing] from the flight that they take and com[ing] back together with a whole new meaning in a brand new sense, completely unrelated to the one I sent"?

When this occurs, it leaves me with a prevailing sense of communication impotency: does anyone, anywhere understand what I'm trying to say? Are my words getting "lost in translation"? Is there anyone fluent enough to translate for me?

In our day of instant communication, it can be troubling to send repeated messages and not receive an answer. I need to remember that Heavenly Father isn't on Facebook, instant messenger, email, mobile device, or anything like that. So, I can't always expect Him to respond immediately. What I need to remember, though, is that He will respond...in His own time and in His own way. I need to trust that He has received my message and that He will respond. Remembering this is especially difficult, though, when there seems to be silence coming from the only Being who can help in my current situation.

Music and Prayer

2010-09-28T13:54:00.000-07:00

I wonder sometimes if we realize the importance of music. I wonder if we know that the Lord Himself is concerned about it. He has given us the information that the song of praise is a prayer unto Him. In our day He has given revelation about music. He gave instruction that Emma Smith was to gather the hymns that were to be sung in the Church.

-- President George Albert Smith, “Pres. Smith's Leadership Address,” Church News, Feb. 16, 1946, 8.

Finding Sanctuary in Faith

2010-09-28T08:25:00.000-07:00

I suppose we are known for many things, including some valuable social behaviors, but let us be clear about our faith. As inspired as these teachings are, we are not the church of the people who don’t date until they’re 16 or the church of the people who don’t drink coffee. Others may want to circumscribe our religion, to make it small and tidy. But we must not let ourselves shrink our religion or let our own thinking be made small. We are the Church of Jesus Christ, and we seek to follow Him and put His teachings into practice in our own lives. In so doing we find sanctuary in our faith.

But what about those times when our faith is weak or wavers? Then we must act as if. In the words of William Sloan Coffin, the longtime chaplain of Yale University:

It is terribly important to realize that the leap of faith is not so much a leap of thought as of action. For while in many matters it is first we must see, then we will act; in matters of faith it is first we must do then we will know, first we will be and then we will see. One must, in short, dare to act wholeheartedly without absolute certainty.

Or, as he said more succinctly:

I love the recklessness of faith. First you leap, and then you grow wings. [William Sloan Coffin, Credo (Louisville, Kentucky: Westminster John Knox Press, 2004), 7]

-- Jeffrey F. Ringer, "Finding Sanctuary," Brigham Young University devotional, 25 May 2010, emphasis added.

What Happiness Looks Like

2010-09-28T07:44:00.000-07:00

Inspiring words about what happiness looks like.

When Christ gave the Sermon on the Mount with its series of “Blessed are the meek,” Blessed are the merciful,” “Blessed are the pure in heart,” “Blessed are the peacemakers”, there is an idea tucked in here that we sometimes miss. Another translation of “blessed are” is “oh the happiness of.” What the Lord is giving here is not a series of commandments, so much as a description of what the joyful life looks like. This is what happy people do. This is a description of what happy people are.

What we call commandments are loving letters from the Lord telling us how our souls can live in joy by living in harmony with the laws that really are. This is how God lives, and he is the happiest of us all. According to one writer, “He is in the business of happifying his children.”

Heber C. Kimball said it this way, “I am perfectly satisfied that my Father and my God is a cheerful, pleasant, lively, good-natured Being. Why? Because I am cheerful, pleasant, lively, and good-natured when I have His Spirit.”

-- Maurine Proctor, "I'm Just Not Myself Today," Meridian Magazine, posted online Tuesday, 28 September 2010 (emphasis added).

We Must Inquire for Ourselves

2010-09-24T01:00:00.000-07:00

I am more afraid that this people have so much confidence in their leaders that they will not inquire for themselves of God whether they are led by him. I am fearful they settle down in a state of blind self security. Let every man and woman know, by the whispering of the Spirit of God to themselves, whether their leaders are walking in the path the Lord dictates, or not.

-- President Brigham Young, Discourses of Brigham Young, sel. John A. Widtsoe [1954], 135.

Become More Holy

2010-09-23T17:30:00.000-07:00

I believe that if we are really going to do what we came here to do, and that the Lord is counting on us to do, that we need to seek in every way we can to be more holy, to invite more holiness into our lives so that we really can, as the forces around us are increasing in intensity, have an equal and opposite reaction to those forces....

-- Sister Wendy Watson Nelson, Brigham Young University-Idaho women's meeting, 26 January 2010.

What We Can Become

2010-09-23T06:00:00.000-07:00

Your personal possibilities, not for status and position but for service to God and mankind, are immense, if you will but trust the Lord to lead you from what you are to what you have the power to become....

Trust yourselves to the Lord who sees the end from the beginning—and all that is in between! He sees you as you are but also what you may become! Meanwhile, do not let your present feelings of inadequacy keep you from growing or responding to your challenges. Do not let the pressures of time cause you to make choices that will damage your eternity.

-- Elder Neal A. Maxwell, "I Am But a Lad," New Era, Feb 2002, 4, emphasis added.

Like a Blank Sheet of Paper...

2010-09-22T23:00:00.000-07:00

All I have to do is keep my spirit, feelings and conscience like a sheet of blank paper, and let the Spirit and power of God write upon it what He pleases. When He writes, I will read; but if I read before He writes, I am very likely to be wrong.

-- President Brigham Young, Deseret News, Apr. 19, 1871, 125.

Thoughts on Home

2010-09-22T20:00:00.000-07:00

It is in the home that we form our attitudes, our deeply held beliefs. It is in the home that hope is fostered or destroyed. Our homes are to be more than sanctuaries; they should also be places where God’s Spirit can dwell, where the storm stops at the door, where love reigns and peace dwells.

-- President Thomas S. Monson, “Becoming Our Best Selves,” Ensign, Nov. 1999, 19.)

Thought about Faith

2010-09-22T18:00:00.000-07:00

This is my prayer for all of us—'Lord, increase our faith.' Increase our faith to bridge the chasms of uncertainty and doubt. . . . Grant us faith to look beyond the problems of the moment to the miracles of the future. . . . Give us faith to do what is right and let the consequence follow.

-- President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Lord, Increase Our Faith,” Ensign, Nov. 1987, 52–53.

Latter-day Prophets and Apostles

2010-09-22T11:44:00.000-07:00

I'm excited for General Conference! I know that it is still a week and a half away, but I've already started counting down the days. General Conference is for me like Christmas is to children: I can barely sleep the night before because I'm too excited to think about the wonderful gifts of revelation that President Monson, the First Presidency, the Twelve Apostles, and the other auxiliarly leaders are going to give me.

(Trish, I guess this tops the charts on the Nerd-o-meter, huh?)

But serioiusly, I can't wait!

President Thomas S. Monson

Why is General Conference so thrilling for me? Because we have living prophets and apostles who are directed by the Lord and the Holy Spirit to provide direction for and counsel to us. The counsel given is for everyone, yet only a small percentage of people actually know that such revelation exists--that God still speaks to His children through prophets and apostles.

I know that Heavenly Father restored the fullness of His gospel, including the organization of the church with prophets and apostles to lead us through the priesthood. I know Joseph Smith was the instrument through which God restored the Church, the priesthood, the Book of Mormon, and other important gospel ordinances. I know that President Thomas S. Monson is God's chosen prophet here on the earth at this time. I revere President Monson; I am excited to hear what he and the other apostles have to say. And I'm grateful to know that when I obey their counsel, I am happier, feel more peace in my life, and feel the Lord's love for me more abundantly.

I found this wonderful summary about apostles and prophets on lds.org:

The Lord reveals His word to the world through holy prophets (see Amos 3:7). This has been God’s pattern since the world began: “We believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church, namely, apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, and so forth” (Articles of Faith 1:6). It is as true today as it was in the times of Adam, Noah, Moses, and Abraham; no one else has the authority to receive commandments and revelations for the Church (see D&C 43:2–3). Through direct revelation to His holy prophet, the Lord teaches us what we need to know.

In ancient times Joseph of Egypt testified that a prophet “great like unto Moses” would be raised up in the last days to restore the Lord’s Church and the teachings of His gospel (see 2 Nephi 3:6–9). Joseph Smith was this man, “a seer, a translator, a prophet, an apostle of Jesus Christ, an elder of the church through the will of God the Father, and the grace of [the] Lord Jesus Christ” (D&C 21:1).

With the martyrdom of Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, because he was the President of the Quorum of the Twelve, became the leader of the Church. Then on 27 December 1847 he was sustained as the prophet, seer, and revelator and President of the Church. Each succeeding President of the Church, chosen “through the will of God the Father, and the grace of [the] Lord Jesus Christ,” has been called as the Lord’s prophet to reveal the word and will of the Lord to the people of the earth. The President of the Church today is a true prophet, seer, and revelator and acts with the authority of God. When we listen to the voice of the prophet, we hear the word of God.

Summary
Since the time of Adam, the Lord has given instructions and teachings to the people on earth through His chosen prophets. Joseph Smith, the first prophet in the latter days, restored the Church of Jesus Christ and received hundreds of revelations from the Lord. Many men have succeeded Joseph Smith as prophet and President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and each one has received direct revelation from the Lord to teach us what we need to know.

The Role of an Apostle

2010-09-22T11:25:00.000-07:00

I love the way Elder David A. Bednar describes what an apostle is.

You can read more about this on lds.org here.

Counsel from Elder Maxwell

2010-09-22T08:00:00.000-07:00

I have found, too, that it is better to trust and sometimes be disappointed than to be forever mistrusting and be right occasionally.

-- Elder Neal A. Maxwell, "Insights from My Life," Brigham Young University devotional, 26 October 1976

Charity: Expect the Best

2010-09-22T07:00:00.000-07:00

Emily shared this quote with me. It's something I need to remember--and I think it's something that applies not only to our relationships with others, but also to our relationship with ourselves: Charity is expecting the best in us!

Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don’t judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn’t handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other.

-- Elder Marvin J. Ashton, “The Tongue Can Be a Sharp Sword,” Ensign, May 1992, 18, emphasis added.

What Is the Good Part for Me?

2010-09-22T06:00:00.000-07:00

My life is harried and hectic. Admittedly, I am a workaholic who is probably (take out the "probably"...) addicted to chaos and stress.

And I am burnt out and exhausted, with "miles to go before I sleep" and another business trip only 2 days away.

On Monday when I was visiting with my doctor, I asked what her recommendation was for the stomach pains that brought me in to see her. Her prescription: "You need to slow down and get a new job. If you continue the way you are, you will kill yourself."

Not exactly what I was expecting to hear!

Yet, she was exactly right.

The problem is that I don't know how to save myself from this harried life I live. I work so much because I depend on myself to take care of my needs. I don't have a husband or anyone else to help me pay the bills, clean the house, do the laundry, run errands for me, or any of that. And although there are friends who would be willing to help, it rarely occurs to me to ask for help; the thought honestly doesn't even cross my mind. When I do feel inspired to ask for help, it actually causes me additional stress because I worry how my request will be received (am I imposing too much on someone else?). Further, one of the (many) reasons I avoid relationships that might lead to marriage is because I fear giving up my stressful life--one that I adequately navigate on my own--to trust someone else to take care of me.

I have plenty of excuses for why I remain where I am. And I understand, more than I want to right now, how Martha felt that night when Jesus visited and she was "cumbered about much serving."

Sister Bonnie D. Parkin related the story this way:

On one occasion Martha was making dinner and, as the scripture says, "was cumbered about much serving." In other words, she was stressed out!

Mary, on the other hand, "sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word," while Martha became increasingly upset that no one was helping her. Does that sound familiar? Do you think she was thinking, "Why is Mary sitting there while I'm sweating over this stove?" So Martha turned to Jesus and said, "Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me."

The Lord's gentle invitation to Martha may have surprised her. "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her."

The Savior's response strikingly clarified what mattered most. On that evening in Martha's home, the good part was not in the kitchen; it was at the Lord's feet. Dinner could wait.

Like Mary, I hunger to feast at the Savior's feet, while, like Martha, I need to somehow find the laundry room floor, empty my in-box, and serve my husband something other than cold pizza. I have 15 grandchildren whose tender little spirits and daily challenges I want to better understand, yet I also have a slightly demanding Church calling! I don't have lots of time. Like all of you, I have to choose. We all are trying to choose the good part which cannot be taken from us, to balance the spiritual and the temporal in our lives. Wouldn't it be easy if we were choosing between visiting teaching or robbing a bank? Instead, our choices are often more subtle. We must choose between many worthy options.

Mary and Martha are you and me; they are every sister in Relief Society. These two loved the Lord and wanted to show that love. On this occasion, it seems to me that Mary expressed her love by hearing His word, while Martha expressed hers by serving Him.

Martha thought she was doing right and that her sister should be helping her.

I don't believe the Lord was saying there are Marthas and there are Marys. Jesus did not dismiss Martha's concern, but instead redirected her focus by saying choose "that good part." And what is that? The prophet Lehi taught that we "should look to the great Mediator, and hearken unto his great commandments; and be faithful unto his words, and choose eternal life, according to the will of his Holy Spirit."

The one thing that is needful is to choose eternal life. We choose daily. As we seek, listen, and follow the Lord, we are encircled in the arms of His love—a love that is pure.

-- Sister Bonnie D. Parkin, "Choosing Charity: That Good Part," General Relief Society Meeting, September 2003, emphasis added.

What is the "good part" for me to choose? How can I more regularly choose the Lord instead of choosing busy-ness and my workaholic tendencies?

I don't even know what the "good part" would look like for me. How do I balance the "good part" with what is "necessary" (i.e., full-time employment for me right now, responsibilities, etc). The type of employment I have enables me to daily be in the Lord's service, to directly affect one of the three-fold mission of the Church. I am grateful for that. But I've wondered if work is all I am good for. Is it ever okay for me to just rest? Would it be okay for Martha-like me, to step out of the kitchen and sit at the Lord's feet and listen, even just for a few moments? I haven't ever felt "permission" to do this--to do anything besides work--so I figuratively stay in the kitchen and keep working, feeling resentful that the work to do is never-ending.

Choosing the good part doesn't necessarily mean being unemployed (that would stress me out even more, especially now that I have a mortgage!). I think that choosing the good part involves allowing ourselves to follow the inclinations of our hearts, to serve others freely, and minister to those around us--putting people and relationships above deadlines and "to do" lists.

Easier said than done, especially for me.

Yet, I know it is true. I know that I need to choose the better part--to choose relationships over raises and people over "productivity." The question is, how can I do this?

Creating a Legacy

2010-09-21T08:46:00.000-07:00

On my first day of college, my creative writing professor asked us to write our obituary. I was confused at the seemingly morbid assignment. I'd just started college, I had my whole life before me...and she wanted me to write my obituary? What a strange request!

Yet, that seemingly insignificant exercise set the tone for my college career and for my life: at 18 years old, I was forced to identify the legacy I wanted to leave...and then to live towards those ideals.

Mortality is not usually a subject I think on very much; I usually take for granted that I wake up every morning, that when I take a breath, my lungs expand correctly and process the oxygen properly. I don't occupy my thoughts too much with how my thoughts, words, and actions today are directly influencing the legacy I will leave. "Legacy" sounds far off and untouchable.

But every once in a while when I delve into serious introspection, I wonder. I wonder about how my actions, thoughts, decisions, and words are affecting others, for good and for bad. I wonder about who I am becoming (am I progressing at all towards becoming the woman of Christ I want to be?). I wonder what others say of me now--Am I helping or hurting the ones I love? Is my testimony evident in the way I live--or do others wonder how I feel about them and about Heavenly Father?

I wish there was a way in our society to regularly solicit feedback from others about how we are doing, to evaluate how we are doing on the road back to Heavenly Father. Wouldn't it be nice if people eulogized us on a regular basis--maybe not to the extent that we do at a funeral, but just enough to let us know that we are doing some good in the world, making some progress. Certainly, it would be nice to know now, while I still have time to change, if there are things I do that hurt people; I would definitely want to know those things as well so I could repent.

However, I think it might even be more important that we let each other know the good that we do. I know it would help me; I would be the first to enumerate my weaknesses and failings but the last to recognize the good I've done for someone else. When someone tells me that I've said or done something that helped, I feel the Lord's love for that person and for me; I feel valued by the Lord when I see that He used imperfect me to help another of His children.

I wish there was some way that I could more easily share with others what they mean to me, how they change me, how they inspire me, how their love invigorates me and heals my heart, how their small acts bring me closer to Christ and closer to the woman I want to become. For someone with the gift of words, I am usually at a loss of words when it comes to sharing my feelings with someone face-to-face. I am afraid of how these words will be received. I fear rejection. I fear that what I say isn't important; I fear that my feelings don't matter, even if they are feelings of gratitude.

Elder Maxwell's grave stone reads "True Disciple of Christ."

For example, Elder Neal A. Maxwell's words were (and continue to be as I study them again and again) life-changing. They always resonated with me and encouraged me to pursue true discipleship regardless of the cost and the sacrifice. But I felt silly for even thinking about sending a "thank you" note to an apostle. Surely he would think my timid attempt at gratitude to be inconsequential; he spoke with the apostolic mantle and spoke the words inspired by the Holy Spirit, not for praise or adulation. Yet...would my feeble words have enabled him, even an apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ, another opportunity to feel the Lord's love? I guess I'll never know.

Aligning Our Faith to Act: Determining the Unknown Variables

2010-09-21T07:58:00.000-07:00

Faith, despite all of the time I've devoted to learning about it, is still quite a mystery to me, like mathematics is. There are numerous nuances to this "simple" principle of the Gospel--and therefore, there is MUCH for me to still learn about faith and how to apply it in my life. Often I know that faith is the "right answer"...but I can't figure out how to get there or why it is the answer.

Take the current perplexing situation in my life, for example. Faith is the answer...but I'm not certain how to "show my work" like I did in my algebra class. What equations and algorithims get me to where faith aligns with God's will and equals power to act (Faith + God = Action)?

My first step to figuring out the unknown variables is to review the principles of faith. First, words from Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin provide great insight into faith leading to action.

"The just shall live by faith" (Romans 1:7), we are told in holy writ. I ask again, What is faith?

Faith exists when absolute confidence in that which we cannot see combines with action that is in absolute conformity to the will of our Heavenly Father. Without all three--first, absolute confidence; second, action; and third, absolute conformity--without these three all we have is a counterfeit, a weak and watered-down faith. Let me discuss each of these three imperatives of faith.

First, we must have confidence in that which we cannot see....

Second, for our faith to make a difference, we must act. We must do all that is in our power to change passive belief into active faith, for truly, "faith, if it hath not works, is dead" (James 2:17)....

Third, one's faith should be consistent with the will of our Heavenly Father, including His laws of nature. The sparrow flying into a hurricane may believe that he can successfully navigate the storm, but the unforgiving natural law will convince him otherwise in the end.

Are we wiser than the sparrow? Often what passes for faith in this world is little more than gullibility. It is distressing to see how eager some people are to embrace fads and theories while rejecting or giving less credence and attention to the everlasting principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is distressing how eagerly some rush into foolish or unethical behavior, believing that God will somehow deliver them from the inevitable tragic consequences of their actions. They even go so far as to ask for the blessings of heaven, knowing in their hearts that what they do is contrary to the will of our Father in Heaven.

How do we know when our faith conforms to the will of our Heavenly Father and He approves of that which we seek? We must know the word of God. One of the reasons we immerse ourselves in the scriptures is to know of Heavenly Father's dealings with man from the beginning. If the desires of our heart are contrary to scripture, then we should not pursue them further.

Next, we must heed the counsel of latter-day prophets as they give inspired instruction.

Additionally, we must ponder and pray and seek the guidance of the Spirit. If we do so, the Lord has promised, "I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart" (Doctrine and Covenants 8:2).

Only when our faith is aligned with the will of our Heavenly Father will we be empowered to receive the blessings we seek.

--Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, "Shall He Find Faith On the Earth," Ensign, Nov. 2002, pp. 82-84, emphasis added.

So, my equation must have the elements of absolute confidence (in what I cannot see), a willingness to act upon what I do not see, and absolute conformity to the will of God--as well as an assumption that I know what God's will is for me. That would change the equation to this:

~~Faith + God = Action~~

|Confidence in God| + Willingness to Act + |Conformity to God's Will| = Faith

And we can expand the equation to include data from Elder David A. Bednar about tender mercies, a very important but misunderstood component of the faith equation.

My mind was drawn immediately to Nephi's phrase "the tender mercies of the Lord," and I knew in that very moment I was experiencing just such a tender mercy. A loving Savior was sending me a most personal and timely message of comfort and reassurance through a hymn selected weeks previously. Some may count this experience as simply a nice coincidence, but I testify that the tender mercies of the Lord are real and that they do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence. Often, the Lord's timing of His tender mercies helps us to both discern and acknowledge them.

-- Elder David A. Bednar, "The Tender Mercies of the Lord," General Conference, April 2005, emphasis added.

With this added understanding from Elder Bednar, we can extend our understanding of faith to include tender mercies of the Lord, especially His timing of executing the miracles in our lives.

|Confidence in God| + Willingness to Act + |Conformity to God's Will| = Faith

Faith x The Lord's Timing = Tender Mercies

Heavenly Help and Family Ties, Part 2

2010-09-21T07:04:00.000-07:00

A few more quotes on this subject of heavenly help and family ties; these quotes are from President Ezra Taft Benson.

I am sure many of you know that the veil can be very thin–that there are people over there who are pulling for us–people who have faith in us and who have great hopes for us, who are hoping and praying that we will measure up–our loved ones (parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, and friends) who have passed on.
-- Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, p.31

I often wonder just how much my life is influenced by my family members, particularly by my Aunt and my Uncle Jack and by those other ancestors for whom I have done temple work. How involved are they in my life here on this side of the veil--particularly, how many of the small and simple blessings I enjoy are directly related to work they have done on my behalf? I don't know the answer, and I probably don't need to know. But to me it would make sense that if God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, and His course is one eternal round, that both sides of the veil (those of us in mortality and those in the spirit world) bless each other: the work I do here blesses them (especially by remembering them and providing temple ordinances for them, a work they cannot do as disembodied spirits) and the work they do blesses us on earth (miracles, divine intervention, and work we cannot do for ourselves). Just a thought....

Visitors, seen and unseen, from the world beyond, are often close to us. This is part of eternity which we are living today–part of God’s plan. There is no veil to the Lord.
-- Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, p.35

I love the idea that eternity is not something that starts sometime in the future but that it is here and now--that we enjoy the blessings of eternity already, especially the blessings of an eternal family. It makes so much sense to me that God would do it this way. Why wait when we can enjoy eternity now (albeit a lesser form of eternity)?

Heavenly Help and Family Ties

2010-09-21T06:59:00.000-07:00

I was named after my grandmother's aunt, a good Christian woman of German descent who raised my grandmother and, later after my grandmother divorced my grandfather, raised my mother and her siblings while my grandmother worked multiple jobs to support her little family.

As her namesake, I have wondered what my Aunt thought of me and what I have done with her name. What does she think of me? Have I lived up to her expectations? I never had a chance to know her in this life (she was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease and entered a nursing home a few years after I was born and then died when I was 10), but I wish I had the chance to talk to her now, across the veil. What does she see from where she is? How does she feel about me? Is she happy? Is Uncle Jack, her beloved in this life, right there with her as I imagine him to be?

Me and my Aunt at my 1st birthday

My Aunt was not perfect, and since I did not personally experience her imperfections in this life, it is easier for me to romanticize what she is like now without the constraints of mortality, when she is able to be who she truly is without opposition. I like to think of her being her best self and working arduously on the other side of the veil, keeping our family together (a work she started on earth) and gathering the lost ones. I can imagine her reaching out to her younger sister, my great grandma, Bertie, and loving Bertie back into the family--something no one was able to do here on earth. If anyone can bring Bertie back, I think it would be my Aunt.

It's difficult to explain with words the connection I feel to my Aunt. Our names are the same and our dispositions are similar (I think my need for control is definitely genetic); I even think that part of me is looking for my own "Uncle Jack," some jovial, loving, Swedish soul who would complement me and balance my A-type personality with his playfulness as Uncle Jack did for my Aunt.

Whilst thinking about my Aunt, a quote by President Joseph F. Smith came to mind about how close we are to our ancestors (heavenly messengers and heavenly beings) even in our day-to-day life here on earth. I was happy to find the full text of the quote online (oh, how I love the Internet!). And once again, I remembered the cherished moments when I felt the veil was swept away and I could feel love for and from my ancestors, especially for and from my Aunt.

I believe we move and have our being in the presence of heavenly messengers and of heavenly beings. We are not separate from them. We begin to realize more and more fully, as we become acquainted with the principles of the Gospel, as they have been revealed anew in this dispensation, that we are closely related to our kindred, to our ancestors, to our friends and associates and co-laborers who have preceded us into the spirit world. We cannot forget them; we do not cease to love them; we always hold them in our hearts, in memory, and thus we are associated and united to them by ties that we can not break, that we can not dissolve or free ourselves from. If this is the case with us in our finite condition, surrounded by our mortal weaknesses, shortsightedness, lack of inspiration and wisdom from time to time, how much more certain it is and reasonable and consistent to believe that those who have been faithful, who have gone beyond and are still engaged in the work for the salvation of the souls of men, the opening of the prison doors to them that are bound and proclaiming liberty to the captives who can see us better than we can see them; that they know us better than we know them. They have advanced; we are advancing; we are growing as they have grown; we are reaching the goal that they have attained unto; and therefore, I claim that we live in their presence, they see us, they are solicitous for our welfare, they love us now more than ever. For now they see the dangers that beset us; they can comprehend better than ever before, the weaknesses that are liable to mislead us into dark and forbidden paths. They see the temptations and the evils that beset us in life and the proneness of mortal beings to yield to temptation and to wrong doing; hence their solicitude for us and their love for us and their desire for our well being must be greater than that which we feel for ourselves. I thank God for the feeling that I possess and enjoy and for the realization that I have, that I stand, not only in the presence of Almighty God, my Maker and Father, but in the presence of His Only Begotten Son in the flesh, the Savior of the world; and I stand in the presence of Peter and James, (and perhaps the eyes of John are also upon us and we know it not); and that I stand also in the presence of Joseph and Hyrum and Brigham and John, and those who have been valiant in the testimony of Jesus Christ and faithful to their mission in the world, who have gone before. When I go I want to have the privilege of meeting them with the consciousness that I have followed their example, that I have carried out the mission in which they were engaged as they would have it carried out; that I have been as faithful in the discharge of duty committed to me and required at my hand as they were faithful in their time, and that when I meet them I shall meet them as I met them here, in love, in harmony, in unison and in perfect confidence that I have done my duty as they have done theirs.

-- Conference Report, April 1916, p.3, emphasis added.

Lugano, Switzerland -- 7, Team Trish&Maddy -- 0

2010-09-12T12:34:00.000-07:00

Point 1 for Switzerland: No stamp in our passports. The border control guys just waved us through in a secret, "don't tell the boss but you can just go on in" kind of way. Sheesh.

Point 2: Switzerland, which I thought was part of the European Union and accepted Euros as its only currency, has in addition to the Euro, its own special currency: the Swiss Frank. Which wouldn't have been a problem except all of the parking spots we saw had meters that only accepted the Swiss Frank ($2 coin) and I didn't have any of those. And this led eventually to...

Point 3: Trish and I were so frustrated by this time that we pulled into the first non "Privato" Autosilo we saw. That happened to be, we later realized (see point 4) was for a grocery store.

Point 4: After an expensive meal (do you know what the exchange rate is for Swiss Franks? NOT GOOD!) with a cranky waitress who took 30 minutes to bring us our check, we walked back to the Autosilo where we'd parked...and to our utter HORROR, discovered that it was closed--as in "no entry, no other way in, must wait until this place opens again to get your car" CLOSED. We'd missed it by 15 minutes!

Point 5: And then, to make matters even worse, we figured out that the grocery store (and thus by extension the parking garage) would not reopen until MONDAY morning. Yes, folks, that's right: we had to wait about 36 hours until we could get the car again...that's if it hadn't been towed already....

Point 6: There wasn't a phone number anywhere to be found on or near the garage or the store front--but it wouldn't have mattered anyway because my new fancy global BlackBerry unit didn't have service, despite its fanciness. And the battery died because it takes a lot of power for the fancy phone to sit in my purse and tell time. And because my fancy phone was dead, we couldn't call our Field Relations Manager, Walter, who lives close to Milan to help us out. We were completely on our own. (Did I mention that by this time, it was 10:45pm...and we were in another country...alone...?)

Point 7--Winning Point: This point was an 'assist' by a series of unfortunate events that occurred in Milan. I will not bore you with the details of the long ordeal right now; let's just say that it took us 3 1/2 hours to get from the central train station in Milan to our hotel--a journey that by taxi took 5 minutes. This "detour" involved an eccentric old Italian man who didn't understand English, getting a personalized night tour of Milanese historic locations, "sans gluten free" bread sticks that tasted like burnt toast and rosemary, and an Obama-loving, chain-smoking teenager who ended up being a knight in a shining hoody.

Game Summary: Though Lugano was beautiful (and if you take the train tour, you'll find out from the 'Ukranian' driver that it even has its own swimming pool...), I don't think I'll be visiting there again....well, except for tomorrow morning when we go to pick up our rental car.

Good job, thank you very much, amen.

Ciao, Italia!

2010-09-10T15:10:00.000-07:00

So, I'm here. In Italy. And I love it!

Tomorrow morning (it's 11:30pm here in Milan) I'll write a longer post with pictures and a verbose, "bowl-minded" narrative about what I've experienced. For now, here are the stats:

Amount of time that my new global BlackBerry device has worked since we left the United States: 0 hours and 0 minutes
Number of connections to fly to Milan: 3 (SLC to Minneapolis...to Amsterdam...to Milan)
Hours it took to travel from SLC to Milan: 17.5
Number of wrong turns we took while trying to drive to the hotel in our little Fiat: 3 7,000 (which is code for too many to count)
Number of hours in Italy (thus far): 13
Total count of Gelaterias visited in the last 10 hours: 2
Gelato flavors sampled: 5

Fragola [FRAH-go-la] (strawberry)
Pistacchio [pee-STAHK-yoh] (pistachio) -- 2 times
Mango (mango)
Stracciatella [strah-cha-TEL-lah] (like a chocolate chip ice cream) -- 2 times
Limone [Lee-MON-ay] (lemon)

Updated: Italy Trip

2010-09-07T08:57:00.000-07:00

Updates in red.

DAY	DATE	LOCATION
Thursday	9-Sep	Salt Lake City to Milano
Friday	10-Sep	Arrive in Milano, 9:40am
Saturday	11-Sep	Lugano, Switzerland
Sunday	12-Sep	Church - Torino?
Monday	13-Sep	AM -- Stato di Archivo Milano. Drive to Tuscany.
Tuesday	14-Sep	Tuscany-- Province of Massa-Carrara, parish: Licciana Nardi.
Wednesday	15-Sep	Napoli
Thursday	16-Sep	Sicilia: Palermo
Friday	17-Sep	Sicilia: Catania, Siracusa, Messina
Saturday	18-Sep	Sicilia: Catania
Sunday	19-Sep	Fly from Catania to Salt Lake City (arrive 9pm)

Thoughts on the Gift of Discernment, Part 3

2010-09-02T12:31:00.000-07:00

From Sister Elaine L. Jack, former General Relief Society President:

Spiritual gifts are powerful priesthood blessings. They increase our capacity as we develop them by drawing on the storehouse in heaven. One gift I value is discernment. When the Lord spoke to the woman at the well, He offered her living “water springing up into everlasting life.” He discerned her needs. His words startled her: “Go, call thy husband, and come hither.” She answered, “I have no husband,” and Jesus said, “Thou hast well said.” And “the woman saith unto him, … I perceive that thou art a prophet.” (See John 4:14–19.)

Many women have the gift of discernment. Often blessed with the power to know and understand beyond their experience, women draw on this strength as they visit monthly to teach in the homes or to assess needs as directed by the bishop. We use it as we nurture our children and teach them the gospel. We discern, by the power of God given to us through His Spirit that “one thing is needful” (Luke 10:42). Nothing we do is more important than the work of righteousness in our homes.

Discernment is critical for our times. President Boyd K. Packer has said, “We need women with the gift of discernment who can view the trends in the world and detect those that, however popular, are shallow” (Ensign, Nov. 1978, 8). That is exactly what we need.

-- Sister Elaine L. Jack, “‘Partakers of the Glories’,” Ensign, Nov 1996, 76, emphasis added.

Thoughts on the Gift of Discernment, Part 2

2010-09-02T12:26:00.000-07:00

And a (rather lengthy quote) from Elder David A. Bednar:

Let me now address the question of why the spiritual gift of being quick to observe is so vital for us in the world in which we do now and will yet live. Simply stated, being quick to observe is an antecedent to and is linked with the spiritual gift of discernment. And for you and for me, discernment is a light of protection and direction in a world that grows increasingly dark.

Much like faith precedes the miracle, much like baptism by water comes before the baptism by fire, much like gospel milk should be digested before gospel meat, much like clean hands can lead to a pure heart, and much like the ordinances of the Aaronic Priesthood are necessary before a person can receive the higher ordinances of the Melchizedek Priesthood, so being quick to observe is a prerequisite to and a preparation for the gift of discernment. We can hope to obtain that supernal gift of discernment and its light of protection and direction only if we are quick to observe—if we both look and obey.

President George Q. Cannon (1827–1901), who served as a counselor to four Presidents of the Church, taught powerfully about the gift of discernment:

“One of the gifts of the Gospel which the Lord has promised to those who enter into covenant with Him is the gift of discerning of spirits—a gift which is not much thought of by many and probably seldom prayed for; yet it is a gift that is of exceeding value and one that should be enjoyed by every Latter-day Saint.…

“Now, the gift of discerning of spirits not only gives men and women who have it the power to discern the spirit with which others may be possessed or influenced, but it gives them the power to discern the spirit which influences themselves. They are able to detect a false spirit and also to know when the Spirit of God reigns within them. In private life this gift is of great importance to the Latter-day Saints. Possessing and exercising this gift they will not allow any evil influence to enter into their hearts or to prompt them in their thoughts, their words or their acts. They will repel it; and if perchance such a spirit should get possession of them, as soon as they witness its effects they will expel it or, in other words, refuse to be led or prompted by it.”

Can we recognize how crucial this spiritual gift is in our lives today and how being quick to observe is a powerful invitation for the blessings of discernment? ...

As we integrate the teachings of Presidents Cannon and Richards, we learn that the gift of discernment operates basically in four major ways.

First, as we “read under the surface,” discernment helps us detect hidden error and evil in others.

Second, and more important, it helps us detect hidden errors and evil in ourselves. Thus the spiritual gift of discernment is not exclusively about discerning other people and situations, but, as President Cannon taught, it is also about discerning things as they really are within us.

Third, it helps us find and bring forth the good that may be concealed in others.

And fourth, it helps us find and bring forth the good that may be concealed in us. Oh, what a blessing and a source of protection and direction is the spiritual gift of discernment! ....

The gift of discernment opens to us vistas that stretch far beyond what can be seen with natural eyes or heard with natural ears. Discerning is seeing with spiritual eyes and feeling with the heart—seeing and feeling the falsehood of an idea or the goodness in another person. Discerning is hearing with spiritual ears and feeling with the heart—hearing and feeling the unspoken concern in a statement or the truthfulness of a testimony or doctrine.

I frequently have heard President Boyd K. Packer, Acting President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, counsel members and priesthood leaders, “If all you know is what you see with your natural eyes and hear with your natural ears, then you will not know very much.” His observation should help all of us to appropriately desire and seek these spiritual gifts.

Observing and discerning also enable us to assist others who are seeking to obtain the path and who desire to press forward with steadfastness in Christ. Blessed with these spiritual gifts, we will not lose our way; we will not wander off; we will not be lost. And we can hope to obtain the supernal gift of discernment and its light of protection and direction only if we are quick to observe....

-- Elder (then President) David A. Bednar, "Quick to Observe," Brigham Young University-Idaho commencement speech, 20 August 2004, emphasis added. Reprinted in the Ensign, December 2006, pages 30-36.

Thoughts on the Gift of Discernment, Part 1

2010-09-02T12:11:00.000-07:00

This topic (the gift of discernment) has been in my thoughts lately. Wanted to share some quotes I found about this subject.

From Elder Stephen L. Richards:

First, I mention the gift of discernment, embodying the power to discriminate, which has been spoken of in our hearing before particularly as between right and wrong. I believe that this gift when highly developed arises largely out of an acute sensitivity to impressions -- spiritual impressions, if you will -- to read under the surface as it were, to detect hidden evil, and more importantly to find the good that may be concealed. The highest type of discernment is that which perceives in others and uncovers for them their better natures, the good inherent within them. It's the gift every missionary needs when he takes the gospel to the people of the world. He must make an appraisal of every personality whom he meets. He must be able to discern the hidden spark that may be lighted for truth. The gift of discernment will save him from mistakes and embarrassment, and it will never fail to inspire confidence in the one who is rightly appraised.

The gift of discernment is essential to the leadership of the Church. I never ordain a bishop or set apart a president of a stake without invoking upon him this divine blessing, that he may read the lives and hearts of his people and call forth the best within them. The gift and power of discernment in this world of contention between the forces of good and the power of evil is essential equipment for every son and daughter of God. There could be no such mass dissensions as endanger the security of the world, if its populations possessed this great gift in larger degree. People are generally so gullible one is sometimes led to wonder whether the great Lincoln was right, after all, in the conclusion of his memorable statement, "You can't fool all the people all the time." One does feel at times, however, a sense of pity and sympathy for some of the peoples of the world whose education, information, and exposure to higher ideals and exalted concepts have been so arbitrarily and ruthlessly restricted.

There is a class of people now grown sizable in the world who should possess this great gift in large degree. They know how the gift is attained. They have been educated in its spiritual foundations. They have been blessed with the counsels which foster it. They know how to order their lives to procure it. You know who they are, my brethren and sisters. Every member in the restored Church of Christ could have this gift if he willed to do so. He could not be deceived with the sophistries of the world. He could not be led astray by pseudo-prophets and subversive cults. Even the inexperienced would recognize false teachings, in a measure at least. With this gift they would be able to detect something of the disloyal, rebellious, and sinister influences which not infrequently prompt those who seemingly take pride in the destruction of youthful faith and loyalties. Discerning parents will do well to guard their children against such influences and such personalities and teachings before irreparable damage is done. The true gift of discernment is often premonitory. A sense of danger should be heeded to be of value. We give thanks for a set of providential circumstances which avert an accident. We ought to be grateful every day of our lives for this sense which keeps alive a conscience which constantly alerts us to the dangers inherent in wrongdoers and sin.

-- Elder Stephen L. Richards, Conference Report, April 1950, pp. 162-163, emphasis added.

King of Anything

2010-09-02T11:58:00.000-07:00

This song reminds me of someone I work with. I sing it to myself after I interact with this person to calm myself down. Maybe I should just sing it directly to the person...?

Going Home to See the Bubblers...

2010-09-02T11:52:00.000-07:00

...on September 24!

"It-ly? My wife's in It-ly?!"

2010-09-02T07:59:00.000-07:00

Love that quote from Only You. :-)

I'm going to It-ly next Thursday (crazy, huh?!) and I'll be gone for about 10 days. Here's my itinerary so ya'll can keep track of me if you want to.

Also, if there is anything you want from It-ly, let me know and I'll try to accomodate your requests. (Sorry, I don't think I can fit any attractive Italian men in my suitcases. Just letting you know that up-front.)

DAY	DATE	LOCATION
Thursday	9-Sep	Salt Lake City to Milano
Friday	10-Sep	Arrive in Milano, 9:40am
Saturday	11-Sep	Lugano, Switzerland
Sunday	12-Sep	Church - Torino?
Monday	13-Sep	AM -- Stato di Archivo Milano. PM --Vincensa Diocese.
Tuesday	14-Sep	Tuscany-- Province of Massa-Carrara, parish: Licciana Nardi.
Wednesday	15-Sep	Roma
Thursday	16-Sep	Sicilia: Catania, Siracusa.
Friday	17-Sep	Sicilia: Palermo
Saturday	18-Sep	Sicilia: Palermo, Catania
Sunday	19-Sep	Fly from Catania to Salt Lake City (arrive 8pm)

God Delights to Bless Us

2010-08-04T09:09:00.000-07:00

As I write this post, tears are streaming down my face. Tears of joy. Tears of gratitude. Why? Because Heavenly Father caused a miracle to occur in my friend's life. A miracle that only *He* could've accomplished. I feel overcome with gratitude for what He did for my friend.

And, because it is His way, in blessing my friend, He also blessed me. Blessed me with understanding about who He is--that He *IS* a God of miracles and that it is by faith that these miracles come to pass.

For behold, I am God; and I am a God of miracles; and I will show unto the world that I am the same yesterday, today, and forever; and I work not among the children of men save it be according to their faith. -- 2 Nephi 27:23

Seeing this miracle in my friend's life has also confirmed to me that God really does want to bless us--that He even delights to work miracles in our lives.

Hearken and hear, O ye my people, saith the Lord and your God, ye whom I delight to bless with the greatest of all blessings, ye that hear me.... -- D&C 41:1

The Fourth Watch: Darkness Just Before the Dawn

2010-08-03T07:10:00.000-07:00

This post is dedicated to my dearest friend, Leslie.

Dear Friend,

During our conversation last night, I ached to find the words to comfort you and enable you to feel hope again. I don't understand why things have happened the way they have--especially after the peace we both felt about the future and our plans to "take over" the world. At times like this, all I am left to do is return to the basics--to say with Nephi "I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things" (1 Nephi 11:17).

Not knowing the meaning of things is difficult for a planner like me: I want to know all of the details (how it will happen, WHEN it will happen, etc)...but sometimes these details aren't available. And that's when my faith and my hope must kick in.

I know you, Leslie. I know how faithful you are. I feel your faith and hope when we discuss even the mundane aspects of business. Your faith has been tested tremendously throughout your lifetime and especially in the last few years. But look at you. Look at how you and the Lord have overcome! With the Lord's help, you have endured the harrowing of your soul, financial setbacks, and betrayal and abuse from someone who should have been protecting you. Look at who you are today because of what you've endured. You are amazing!

I know it's easy for me to sit on the sidelines and give you a "rah rah rah" pep talk--much harder when *I* am the one enduring the crisis--so as I've been praying for the words you need to hear, I've thought about situations in my own life and what *I* would need to hear at those times. I hope these words will convey to you my love and, even more importantly, Heavenly Father's love for you.

This morning as I drove to work and thought and prayed about you, another devotional came to mind to share with you. Brother S. Michael Wilcox, a CES instructor and author, shared some very valuable insights in a Brigham Young University-Hawaii devotional last year. His remarks were entitled "Bread or Stones: Understanding the God We Pray to." The entire devotional is enlightening; I recommend you read it all. The part I want to share with you, though, is the section about how God usually comes during the "Fourth Watch."

... The Savior has fed the five thousand that day, and in the late afternoon, early evening, He is sending his apostles down into the ship. He will dismiss the multitude. He wishes to pray that evening, and then He will meet the apostles a little later on the shore and they are to pick Him up. In late afternoon, early evening, the apostles get on the ship; they push out in the Sea of Galilee. The Savior dismisses the multitude, and prays. The Savior could pray a long time; so, He prays late into the night. We read in Mark what takes place with the apostles:

And when he had sent them away, he departed into a mountain to pray. And when even was come, the ship was in the midst of the sea, and he alone on the land. And he saw them toiling in rowing; for the wind was contrary unto them: and about the fourth watch of the night he cometh unto them, walking upon the sea. (Mark 6:46-48)

In John’s account of this particular story we read that the apostles had rowed the equivalent of about seventy-five football fields against the wind. There are times in our lives when we toil, rowing against the wind. We are trying to make progress and sometimes it seems that there are forces that are against us. There may be some great blessing that we deeply desire. There may be some trial that we want deeply to be over. And it doesn’t seem like we are making any headway against the wind. We wonder if the Lord is listening.

Now we need to understand something about our Father in Heaven, and that is that He is a fourth watch God.

The Hebrew night was divided into four watches. The first watch—six o’clock at night to nine [p.m.], second watch—nine to midnight, third watch—midnight to three in the morning, fourth watch—three in the morning to sunrise. Sometimes that creates a bit of a problem for us, certainly for me. I worship a fourth watch God. One who tends to feel that it is good to let His children toil in rowing against the wind to face a little opposition. My problem is that I am a first watch person. Now there is something inside of me that understands that it is good for me to toil in rowing against the wind. But certainly by the second watch He would come. And when the second watch has passed and He still has not come. Sometimes I forget that as Mark says, He is watching. He watched them toiling and rowing.

I began to make some assumptions that are often dangerous to make—maybe you make the same. We begin to assume that, number one, He is not there. That is why He’s not responding. And then we calm down and understand that He is there; He is always there. Then the second assumption is if He is there, He must not be listening. And then again, in calmer times—He always listens. Well then the third assumption is He must not care. No—He’s there, He listens, He cares. Maybe the most dangerous assumption, the fourth assumption is I must not be worthy. Now that fourth assumption we are probably correct on. But when has that ever stopped Him from responding; we are as worthy as we can be. We must assume that we have not yet reached the fourth watch; and He is a fourth watch God.

The scriptures are full of fourth watch stories: Joseph Smith in the Sacred Grove—“At the very moment I was ready to sink into despair” (JSH 1:16). Do you ever feel that way? “Just at this moment of great alarm, I saw a pillar of light” (JSH 1:16). It was when the widow of Zarephath was gathering two sticks to make a final meal for her and her son that Elijah came walking through the gate to save them from the famine (1 Kings 17). It was when the water was spent in the bottle and Hagar had placed Ishmael under a tree because she did not want to see his death, that the angel came to say, Hagar, what aileth thee? and showed her a source of water (Genesis 21:17).

We worship a fourth watch God. So when the trials aren’t over and the blessings don’t come, don’t assume that He is not there, or He is not listening, or He doesn’t care, or you’re not worthy. Always assume you have not yet reached the fourth watch.

-- S. Michael Wilcox, "Bread or Stones: Understanding the God We Pray to," Brigham Young University-Hawaii devotional, 31 March 2009 (emphasis added).

This may or may not be the "fourth watch" for you right now--it could even be the "first watch". What I *do* know is that the Lord is with you. He will help you through this.

Hold on! The light, the peace, and the miracles of our "fourth watch" God will come!

Love you!

It's All About Me

2010-07-30T07:43:00.000-07:00

This morning on the commute to work, I was thinking about ... well, me, actually, and about who I am, what I like, what makes me tick (so-to-speak), and all of that.

My thoughts led me to remember a part of the movie Runaway Bride where Maggie (Julia Roberts) cooks and samples various types of eggs, attempting to finally determine for herself what kind of eggs she likes. It is a profound moment when she begins to know herself and assert her identity, ceasing to rely on others to create an identity for her. She then returns to the man she's truly in love with, Ike (Richard Gere), to share her discovery:

Maggie Carpenter: Benedict.
Ike Graham: Arnold.
Maggie Carpenter: I love Eggs Benedict, I hate every other kind. I hate big weddings with everybody staring. I'd like to get married on a weekday while everybody's at work. And when I ride off into the sunset, I want my own horse.
Ike Graham: Should I be writing this down?

Maggie had become a chameleon--taking on whatever personality and/or desires was around her. For many years, I did the same: I didn't feel that it was "okay" to just be me, so I played the role of whoever people wanted me to be. I, like Maggie, had to test the waters (or the eggs) to finally figure out who *I* was--and to feel comfortable just being me, whoever I was.

Here's who I am, for better or for worse:

I like scrambled eggs; don't like runny egg yolk.
My favorite city in the United States is Boston.
I love Harley Davidson motorcycles.
One of my favorite activities is reading greeting cards and finding the "perfect" ones for friends and family.
I love camping and hiking but I don't know how to build a good fire (I usually let someone else do that).
I collect inspirational quotes, talks, and devotionals.
I am (in)famous for food cravings: I have "food phases" where I crave a certain food constantly. E.g. Barbara's Cheese Puffs, Old Wisconsin Beef Jerky, vanilla soft serve ice cream, fish and chips from Arctic Circle, Super Pretzels, etc.
Hip hop and hula dancing are my favorite types of dancing. I also love ballroom dancing and want to do more of it, but I don't have a partner.
I'm a word nerd: I love to learn and use big words. (I subscribe to Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day).
One of my goals is to visit as many LDS temples in the world as possible.
Although I can do things on my own (and I usually do them well), I'd prefer to have help--someone I can count on to be there for me.
I hate crying. When I cry, I claim that I have "allergies."
At a restaurant, I usually order the same thing every time.
I am addicted to Orbtiz gum; Strawberry Mint, Mint Mojito, and/or Maui Melon Mint are my preferred flavors.
I love to learn.
Someday I want to be financially in a position where I can donate the majority of my time and money to serving others and meeting their needs.
A well-placed comma makes me happy.
I have no interest in going to France. (Sorry, Doug!) When I planned my trip to Germany and Austria last year, I purposely avoided having a layover in Paris.
I am not a fan of scrapbooking (primarily because I don't think I'm very creative). I also do not like parades or fireworks (when you've seen one, you've seen them all), raw tomatoes, raw oranges, artifical banana or grape flavors, and diet soda.
I want my house to be as temple-like as possible, so I have/am investing a lot of time and money into decorating, including purchasing high-quality, sacred artwork.
I am OCD about a dirty house because of the house I grew up in.
I hate making the bed.
I clean my toilets every week.
A "closet" goal I have is to someday be influential among women--to speak, write, and teach--like Sheri Dew, Julie B. Beck, and women like them.
I love sheep and collect them (not the actually sheep, but items with their likeness).
It is very validating when someone thinks I'm funny, especially if it is someone I respect/admire.
I feel loved when I feel understood. When someone knows me well enough to order at a restaurant or pick out a personalized gift for me, I feel validated and important.
I don't love animals, although I'm starting to like them more, thanks to Simon Geilman.

I am a planner by nature but am trying to become more spontaneous, to "fly by the seat of my pants" (with or without a light, haha). Doing so, however, requires tremendous trust, and I'm struggling to let go of the (albeit false idea of) security I feel in planning ahead.
I would love to live abroad and give my children international experience--would love for them to speak one or more foreign languages.
I love to cook and create my own recipes...but I hate cooking for one, so I usually end up getting take-out.
Although I value emotional/physical/spiritual intimacy, I keep most people at a distance. I want and need to regularly feel the same security I feel when my father hugs me...but I'm afraid to open up, to allow people close enough, and/or to ask those closest to me for what I need.
Teasing someone is one way I show love. Another way is by remembering birthdays and other special events.

"I Know in Whom I Have Trusted"

2010-07-29T16:13:00.000-07:00

Not surprising, today's Meridian Magazine had an article that discussed exactly what I needed to hear. Meridian has a way of doing that. Not sure how the editors "know" (they don't; Heavenly Father does), but I can almost count on finding an article that fits my needs on the day that I need it.

Today's article about God's love resonated with me. Growing up (and even until recently), I believed that God was a stern, austere judge who wanted to punish me. I am slowly coming to understand that this belief is a fallacy--that God is actually very loving, kind, generous, merciful, and inviting. It is taking time, though, for this new understanding to erase my former misunderstanding.

An excerpt from "God’s Attitude: Pointing in Accusation or Reaching in Invitation?" by Wallace Goddard:

A woman I know was investigating the Church and attended a Gospel Essentials class. The teacher instructed the class that, after our death, each of us will sit across a table from God, the great judge. The teacher said that God would be holding a book listing each of our faults and sins. And we would be accountable before a dissatisfied Lord for each and every sin we committed in mortality. He told the class that it was critical that they always follow the commandments and the counsel of Church leaders perfectly because otherwise they would be adding misdeeds to their judgment books. Those entries would remain there forever and God would someday punish us for every misdeed.

There was no mention of the Savior’s atonement, no discussion of the welcome process of repentance and sanctification. He did not even hint at a loving Father who, desiring us to return to Him, enabled a plan in which the Savior stands with us as our advocate (see D&C 45: 3-5).

Sometime we fear that God only loves us as long as we toe the line. We may harbor—and teach to others—a frightening image of a stern judge who casts us off when we mess up; we may imagine a God who no longer wants us home with Him....

These portrayals of God could make anyone cower. These depictions combined with the reality of our regular and persistent human failing could easily leave anyone feeling desolate and hopeless. (emphasis added)

How Have You Seen the Lord in Your Life?

2010-07-28T09:05:00.000-07:00

If the Lord "delights" to bless me and wants to answer my prayers (and I believe that He does)...then am I just not seeing how He blesses me? Am I missing what's right in front of my face?

I know blessings are there; I can even enumerate a lengthy list of what the Lord has done for me recently. But for some reason, I cannot always identify the Lord's blessings--especially for prayers I've prayed for a long time. For example, I have prayed myriad times about my marital status and what I can do to change that. I know the Lord has heard my prayers and has blessed me but not in the way I expected (e.g. blessing me with a new job that requires a lot of travel, which means I have NO TIME to date...not sure how that moves me any closer to what I desire). How can I see that what is occuring in my life is actually moving me toward the ultimate blessing I desire?

How does the Lord manifest Himself in your life?

How do you recognize blessings, tender mercies, miracles? What is His "signature" that enables you to know these things are from Him?

How are you able to recognize the connection between what you prayed for and what the Lord has done, especially when the blessing doesn't seem to be related to your original prayer?

Please post or email me your answers. I'm very interested in learning how the Lord works in your lives; hopefully that will help me better identify His hand in my life.

Inviting Christ into Every Aspect of Our Lives

2010-07-28T08:44:00.000-07:00

A few Saturdays ago, I had lunch with one of my favorite people: Leslie. We had business to discuss, but we also shared insights and testimony. (I love to be in the company of people with whom I can share more than just thoughts about the weather, politics, or everyday news--people who naturally share testimony during the course of a normal conversation--and Leslie is one of those people.)

Leslie attributed the renewed health of her business to a decision she made a few weeks ago to acknowledge that she was not in control, to submit to whatever the Lord saw fit to do in her life, and to invite Christ into every aspect of her business and her life.

This concept is not a revolutionary idea; in fact, in the scriptures we are constantly invited to do that very thing. Yet, for me, inviting Christ into every aspect of my life is something I want to do but have not. Why? That's a very good question....

The scriptures are clear: we are commanded to pray over ALL things in our lives, not just the "must haves." One of my favorite discourses on this subject is in Alma.

Yea, cry unto him for mercy; for he is mighty to save.
Yea, humble yourselves, and continue in prayer unto him.
Cry unto him when ye are in your fields, yea, over all your flocks.
Cry unto him in your houses, yea, over all your household, both morning, mid-day, and evening.
Yea, cry unto him against the power of your enemies.
Yea, cry unto him against the devil, who is an enemy to all righteousness.
Cry unto him over the crops of your fields, that ye may prosper in them.
Cry over the flocks of your fields, that they may increase.
But this is not all; ye must pour out your souls in your closets, and your secret places, and in your wilderness.
Yea, and when you do not cry unto the Lord, let your hearts be full, drawn out in prayer unto him continually for your welfare, and also for the welfare of those who are around you.
-- Alma 34:18-27

Amulek's words are plain and easy to understand: we should pray continuously and over ALL things in our lives.

My discussion with Leslie reminded me that there are still aspects of my life that I'm still trying to maintain with my own limited strength and abilities. I know Heavenly Father and the Savior are mindful of me and "delight" to bless me. Now I need to open my heart and my life even more and allow them to do exactly that (bless me with what I desire).

Thanks, Leslie, for the reminder!

You Are the Miracle

2010-07-27T08:06:00.000-07:00

I can't tell you how many times that I've read Moses 1:39 and wondered how I fit into God's work and glory--or if I fit at all. My best friend Judy has often told me that we, His children, are His work and glory...but I've never been certain what that means either.

On Sunday evening, BYU-TV (my favorite television station!) replayed a March 2010 BYU-H devotional and I heard the answer I needed, that made everything "click" for me: *we*, Heavenly Father's children, are His miracles, we are His work, and e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g He does is for us. The miracles He accomplishes in this life are *for us*, for our benefit, to bring us closer to Him.

Now the scripture in Ether chapter 3 makes more sense to me: "and all this, that this man might know that he was God, because of the many great works which the Lord had showed unto him" (Ether 3:18).

The Lord knows who I am and He knows how I am taught (primarily through hearing the words of others in devotionals and talks). I know He prepared me through experiences and hearing the words of others' testimonies to the point that I could accept the testimony for myself. I am grateful for His patience and how willing He is to teach me--especially when I'm so slow to hearken and understand!

These are the words from the BYU-H devotional:

I had always planned on coming back to BYU–Hawaii after that semester away, but because of my financial situation, coming back became impossible. I could barely afford to stay in school at home, much less in Hawaii. I struggled constantly with the fear that I might never get back, and though I'm ashamed to admit it, I let fear overcome me and sometimes forgot how to use my faith. But through the patience and faith of my beautiful mother and family, fasting, heartfelt prayers, father's blessings, and by turning to stories of great people in the scriptures, especially Abraham, I regained my faith in the Lord's plan and his ability to fulfill the righteous desires of my heart in his own way and time. Only when I regained this faith and trust in the Lord was he able to "stretch forth [his] hand" (Doctrine & Covenants 121:4) and perform miracles in my behalf. I stand here today as proof that the God we worship is a God of miracles. I still don't understand how he made it all work out, but he brought me back here with a job, scholarships, and tremendous support from my extended family.

I realize that my story may be similar to many of yours, that the Lord had a hand in bringing each of us here and that he had to move some pretty huge mountains to make it happen. However, may I submit that the Lord's greatest accomplishment is not moving the mountains of expensive plane tickets or tuition or housing. In my situation, his greatest miracle was me. My changed heart became a tool for him to work with and my faith gave me power to trust in his plan. He says that his work and his glory is "to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man" (Moses 1:39). Do you understand what he is saying? His greatest miracle is you.

In Isaiah 55:8-9, the Lord tells us, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways…for as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." We know that His knowledge is perfect, that he sees everything with a perfect perspective, including how far we have come and how much further we can go. May I suggest two tools the Lord works with to help us achieve our greatest potential. Or, in other words, two key factors in becoming the Lord's greatest miracle. The first is a heart full of desire and the second is a pair of hands ready to serve....

Many times, we overlook the power of a righteous desire. Elder Sterling W. Sill states, "A consuming desire is the greatest qualification for any success...If our desire is strong enough, accomplishment is assured…. Desire is the quality that makes us want to ‘do many things of [our] own free will' (D&C 58:27). The desire clause is the power clause. God grants to us ‘according to [our] desires' (Alma 29:5)." (Sterling W. Sill, "The Success Formula of Section 4," New Era, Sep 1985, 4)

Oftentimes, we think that we are only allowed to ask for those things that we absolutely need, that praying for what we want is somehow outside the limits of our Father in Heaven's capability or that he has already given us so much that it would be selfish to ask for more. I can testify that, not only is the Lord completely capable, but he aches to satisfy the righteous desires of our hearts. Look at examples in the scriptures. One of them is found in 3 Nephi 28, where Christ is having a final conversation with his apostles in the Americas before returning to His Father.

All twelve of the apostles desire something of the Savior. Nine of them request the following: "We desire that after we have lived unto the age of man that our ministry, wherein thou hast called us, may have an end, that we may speedily come unto thee in thy kingdom." He responds, "Blessed are ye because ye desired this thing of me; therefore, after that ye are seventy and two years old ye shall come unto me in my kingdom; and with me ye shall find rest." He then turns to the three remaining apostles, who stand, like many of us, afraid to voice their desires. But listen to what happens next. "And he said unto them: Behold, I know your thoughts, and ye have desired the thing which John, my beloved, who was with me in my ministry, before that I was lifted up by the Jews, desired of me. Therefore, more blessed are ye, for ye shall never taste of death" (3 Nephi 28:6-7).

All twelve of the apostles had their righteous desires granted; three of them were even granted immortality – talk about miracles! Elder Holland teaches, "God is eagerly waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams…But He can't if you don't pray, and He can't if you don't dream. In short, He can't if you don't believe" (Jeffrey R. Holland, "This, the Greatest of All Dispensations," Ensign, Jul 2007, 52–58). The three Nephites were willing to dream and willing to believe and it resulted in a miracle.

Many of us may fear the risk of having our hearts broken by an unmet desire; however, I tend to agree with the alchemist in Paulo Coehlo's book who responds to his young friend's fears with these words: "Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity" (The Alchemist). I testify that God is ever-present in our righteous desires and that he performs miracles in order to fulfill them. Those "encounter[s] with God and with eternity" strengthen our faith in him, reassure our hearts of his love and watchfulness, and shape us into our Heavenly Father's greatest miracle.

-- Emily Judson, BYUHSA presidency, "Reaching Your Greatest Potential," Brigham Young University-Hawaii devotional, 30 March 2010 (emphasis added).