14 August 2009

Wounding the Wounded

One of my goals as a missionary was to be the sister that President didn't have to worry about (he had plenty of elders and sisters who kept him up at night and caused him to lose his hair -- or was the hair loss a pre-mission condition?). I focused on the work and helping my struggling companions and kept silent about personal struggles. If asked how I was doing, I had a rehearsed answer to recite.

This is how I was with Heavenly Father and the Savior as well. My goal was to be the daughter that They didn't have to worry about--the one who could take care of herself. In my quest for self-sufficiency, however, I did not realize that my reluctance actually wounded the Savior. That was certainly not my intent!

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles brought this to my attention in a Church Educational System Young Adult fireside given on 2 March 1997 at Brigham Young University. In that address entitled "Come Unto Me," Elder Holland taught:

Consider, for example, the Savior’s benediction upon his disciples even as he moved toward the pain and agony of Gethsemane and Calvary. On that very night, the night of the greatest suffering that has ever taken place in the world or that ever will take place, the Savior said, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you. … Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (John 14:27).

I submit to you, that may be one of the Savior’s commandments that is, even in the hearts of otherwise faithful Latter-day Saints, almost universally disobeyed; and yet I wonder whether our resistance to this invitation could be any more grievous to the Lord’s merciful heart. I can tell you this as a parent: as concerned as I would be if somewhere in their lives one of my children were seriously troubled or unhappy or disobedient, nevertheless I would be infinitely more devastated if I felt that at such a time that child could not trust me to help or thought his or her interest was unimportant to me or unsafe in my care. In that same spirit, I am convinced that none of us can appreciate how deeply it wounds the loving heart of the Savior of the world when he finds that his people do not feel confident in his care or secure in his hands or trust in his commandments. [emphasis added]

I love the Savior and do not wish to grieve Him. This insight from Elder Holland gives me further motivation to allow the Savior fully into my heart and into my life, and to turn to Him when I need help.

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